Satan: — Subium • Bluesky web client

Jesus: hung around with lepers and prostitutes "christians": eww, poor people

e- even when theyre like... brown??

brown like Jebus?

WUH!!! HOW DARE!! JEBIS IS A PASTY WHITE AMERICAN!!!1!

😆

Also, he said fuck that one fig tree in particular

More alt text instead of ableism, please. 💜

There are better accounts to follow anyways

Your acct being the one to post this is just *chef kiss*

Now I can't help but fantasize about the 11th commandment being "And shove it up your butt."

I don't understand why some Christians break the rules Jesus Set 💀

Christians follow Christ, not Jesus. And Christ said "buy granite work benches for your kitchen"

Lmao

Ok but what if they’re a really annoying house plant that claims it’s lowlight but as soon as it doesn’t get 13 hrs/day of direct sunlight, it withers and dies and makes you look incompetent?

It is said, Thou shalt not harass the Lord thy God.

"Oh, Dad no! I hate those bastards"

Jesus is…….Stanley from The Office?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=563z...

Black Jesus - Official Trailerwww.youtube.com The most anticipated comeback in history is here. BLACK JESUS has arrived - http://mad.mn/blackjesusjb. Check yo faith.Subscribe to our channel for all the l...

Satan, Im so glad you’re also here! <3

Or sick

Can someone please tell what religion is “evangelicals” ‘cause it sure doesn’t seem to follow those teachings!

Yeah, but look what they did to him... politicalfilm.wordpress.com/2018/11/26/t...

Jesus WOULD be Stanley.

Jesus dumped 10 gallons of chili on the carpet in the lobby so yeah he's gonna be in a forgiving mood

Jesus cast aside the woman on the mountain because she was of the wrong race. He compared her to dogs.

"I turned the water into red wine. For the antioxidants... "

Are you being sacrilegious? I believe in Jesus

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