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Looking back i think the biggest brightest red flag may have been Neil Gaiman mocking the idea of trigger warnings
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"They troubled me and haunted my nightmares and my daydreams, worried and upset me on profound levels, but they also taught me that, if I was going to read fiction, sometimes I would only know what my comfort zone was by leaving it; an www.usatoday.com/story/life/b...
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Felt this way about Whedon, too, in retrospect. Be wary of the writers who are willing to hurt us. So much hides in, “it’s just a story”
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Right up there with “it was a joke! Take it easy, etc”. No, no it’s not. It’s not just anything. But gaslighting. It’s always, always, forever gaslighting.