zellishrows

@zellishrows.bsky.social

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Wee-Jock Poo-Pong McPlop

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Ruin a children’s television programme by changing one letter: Fingerbox I’ll get my coat…..

Ruin a children’s television programme by changing one letter: Adventures of the Cummi Bears

Ruin a children’s television programme by changing one letter: Jizbit

Ruin a children’s television programme by changing one letter: Adventures of the Cummi Bears

I’m officially the mother of a 16yo today. Man, I feel old. Where did that time go?

But why does he take the loo roll from the cubicle only to put it above the sinks?

If you see this, post a bird!

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Oh this is NICE. Well played x.com/_DJ98/status...

x.comx.com

See the BBC are now licking Starmer’s arse. Few people worried about their jobs. 😂

Thank fuck. Tories out in my seat.

Off to vote today but think I’ll stay off social for the rest of it. All the political ranting gets on my tits.

Oh thank Christ, Mark Cavendish - I can now die happy.

I bought the cake and now I feel sick.

I’m really trying to resist the urge to buy cake.

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Pi-vot! Pi-vot!

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I've just been reminded that the best ever Smiths song wasn't by the Smiths, but by Charles Dickens.

Charles Dickens: Miserable Song 🎶 | Vile Victorians | Horrible Historiesyoutu.be Charles Dickens performs a song about his life, his novels, & how miserable he was.Subscribe for more Horrible Histories: http://bit.ly/HorribleHistoriesSubs...

Dear Amazon Prime, What is it about my account history that makes you think I would in any way be interested in a Celine Dion documentary? If I ever did watch a music documentary it would more likely be about Tupac than some Canadian travesty shit-warbler. Thanks.

Using movie as an acronym, recommend 5 films. M: Memento O: On Golden Pond V: Vice Versa I: It Happened One Night E: Empire of the Sun

Using movie as an acronym, recommend 5 films. M: Moonlight O: Ordinary People V: Videodrome I: Ikiru E: East of Eden

Lock screen, let’s see em.

Lock screen. Let's see em.

Lord knows what is going on with Bluesky today but it keeps telling me I have notifications I don’t have. This morning there were 34 but only 3 when I logged on.

Happy Tour de France day everyone!

Why was I up before 6am on a Saturday?

My place of birth. Brilliant stuff. 😂

Dead

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Lovely weather. I see your boyfriend has got his gazebo out

Working in Bath today. Just off for a bimble on my lunch break. Anyone want owt?

Keir Starmer has an old wax jacket that smells like Tibetan yak piss.

Keir Starmer listens to “now that’s what call dad rock” on cassette, in his Vauxhall Vectra

Kier Starmer likes marmalade with bits in.

Kier Starmer wears marigold gloves when he touches his willy

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People that send work emails on the weekend do my nut in. Coming in first thing on a Monday to a packed inbox is not how I want to start my week.