Unfortunately, I have met a non-zero number of cis men who can recite their progressive lines exquisitely and with real conviction. And they seem to be living their values. But then they find themselves in a position of power over a young woman they find attractive. And yes, well.
Seriously, it’s one of the things that continues to astonish me, even after 44 years of not very sheltered life. Friendships, marriages, respect and even jobs. A very non- zero number of men will risk it all for a very outside chance of sex, even when they know the power dynamics are very dodgy.
I remember this one guy, a mature student in his 60s (oddly enough) who made friends with my boyfriend and me (early 20s). He’d often invite us and a few others over to watch films at his house. Anyway, one night my boyfriend couldn’t make it but he told me there were other friends coming.
But there weren’t other friends and yeah, you know exactly where this is going. It’s all so fucking tedious, isn’t it?
I suppose I can count myself lucky he let me out of the house to order a taxi.
The horrible thing is I genuinely believe he liked my boyfriend. But that wasn’t enough.
Feels like it's getting harder to believe anything anymore, including oneself. Just sitting here in my pit of despair wondering if maybe I should hope to never be popular or read by anyone, so that way I won't end up tempted to do shitty things to people.
