Tom Coombe

@calmtomb.bsky.social

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Horror writer, occasionally funny

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Once again, I have to rely on the kindness of strangers to help us help our cat with her various ailments. I am beyond grateful to everyone who has helped so far. www.gofundme.com/f/help-us-he...

Help Us Help Caroline Feel Better, organized by Tom Coombewww.gofundme.com This is Caroline. She's around 10 years old (at least 10, according to our vet). She's cu… Tom Coombe needs your support for Help Us Help Caroline Feel Better

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When you encounter the talking viper and are asked three questions, the correct answers are: 1) Julie Newmar 2) 13 inches 3) The Number of the Beast

Humans are the only animal that worries about interest rates.

British Baking Show cook: Here’s a cake representing every character in A Tale of Two Cities. Judges: Eh, no thanks MasterChef cook: I made fried chicken. Judges: This should be in the Museum of Food.

Things have changed, circumstances, Jerry... uh, force majeure, acts of God.

tell me your fav film with a quote.

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It must suck to be a real journalist at a place like WaPo or NYT considering the opinion columnists there. It would be like working at a grocery store except there's one guy who shits and pisses on the floor all day long and somehow he gets paid 10 times more than you

Ira Parks’ movie posters and bathroom graffiti throughout history are never far from my mind.

reskeet with a tweet you still think about

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You know what they say: the squeaky wheel gets super annoying. It sucks ass and nobody likes it

Were these all stuck in a chute?

Using MOVIE as an acronym, recommend 5 films. My picks - M - Marwencol O - One False Move V - Videodrome I - Impetigore E - Elizabeth

Using MOVIE as an acronym, recommend 5 films. My picks - M - Microhabitat O - Oldboy V - Vanity Fair I - It Part One E - Emma

Stephen King’s IT taught a generation of kids it was a bad idea to play in their town’s sewer system.

Alternate universe where—after writing Interview with the Vampire—Anne Rice just kept going down the list: Interview with the Werewolf, Interview with the Gill-Man, etc etc.

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Microsoft invested $13 billion in AI

I know a guy like this who became this way long before stuff like CinemaSins existed. Anything that reminds him of any other movie is inferior.

absolutely devastating post

A question on every Elden Ring player’s mind.

I don’t know if “terrible” qualifies but I am extremely dubious either of these would hold up.

Jen: HOT TO TROT (1988) Tim: MANNEQUIN (1987) what’s yours? 🎞️🤔

I have some ideas.

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It would be super cool if the tech media would simply stop credulously repeating every value-juicing statement C-Suites make like they’re the in-house PR department. The only difference between these hollow promises and the guy crying, “The end is near!” on the street corner is funding.

Got my contributor copy of the latest book I’m in, plus some neat little swag.

Christ. There’s no part of human existence this guy hasn’t wormed his way into.

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To class up the place a little, we have put fedoras on several slot machines

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If you’re planning on ripping off our casino, legally, you have to tell us.

Just saw an ad for this show, which—as always — made me imagine Dr. Hibbert saying “Too mayor for Kingstown, too much of a king for Mayorstown.”

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this was written in 2019. BEFORE all the stuff that happened after 2019 clickhole.com/a-brilliant-...

A Brilliant Innovator: Elon Musk Has Announced He Is Currently Developing A Lemon With Legs That Can Sprint To Hungry People All Over The Worldclickhole.com From PayPal to Tesla to SpaceX, Elon Musk has been one of the leading innovators of our age—a modern-day Thomas Edison ushering mankind toward a…

I’ve been quite lucky with the dad life gave me. I know a lot of people aren’t and I wish you all well.

AI is ushering in a golden age for people who enjoy ugly, soulless, unsettling crap.

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You can now follow our launch page for Antifa Worlds, an anthology of antifascist horror and Weird fiction, which we'll be crowdfunding for in August. Hit the "notify me on launch" button to stay up to date! www.kickstarter.com/projects/cur...

I should be able to afford a house.

What’s the most boomer complaint you have?

Oh, come on.

I'm not 100% confident in the story I'm writing, but it did at least let me invent a fake rapper named "Royal Baby."