CapnMarrrrk: You're making a huge assumption that the candidates know chess. More like Hungry Hungry Hipposboxing

jacob rees-mogg has to lose while standing next to a guy wearing a baked beans-themed balaclava

I’m sorry… What?!?

the uk baby

We believe in stripping our politicians of dignity whenever possible. It's good for them.

Please keep it up, you're all doing a wonderful job

i like that they have to wear the little ribbons

This is definitely something America needs to do

Ribbons, muzzles SAME difference. Oooh! Ball gags. Let's fucking GO!

We should make them joust with strap on dildos as part of the debates lol

Oohh, like chessboxing! Minute of cockjousting, two minutes of talking, repeat. Pay-per-view, proceeds go to Veterans Healthcare or something.

You're making a huge assumption that the candidates know chess. More like Hungry Hungry Hipposboxing

No, I mean... Cockjousting, debating, cockjousting, debating, et cetera. But... we can also do what you said. Like, why not both?

"Sorry, Governor, you *did* do better at fake penis poking, but the Senator got more balls in his (hippos) mouth, so *he* gets an extra minute reply time"

Scrap the electoral college and instead now it's popular vote plus a bonus round where they let each candidate have a few minutes in one of those big air bubbles where they blow papers around that represent bonus votes

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