K. Sea-Lions

@caseylyons.bsky.social

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I like being funny but I'm not very nice unfortunately.

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Booers Powth

It's like I always say, kill 'em with kindness or a hammer

I tried turning my swords into plowshares but I didn't know what that was so I just tied them all together and turned them into a super sword instead.

I'm fucking terrified that some guys cook and also their kids do.

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K. Sea-Lions

Sometimes you don't realize how much you say "ooh la la" till they play your 911 call on the local news

Americans, I know you're all excited to shoot your guns into the air for 24 straight hours while yelling 'YEEHAW!' but please remember to watch for birds!

They're releasing Gladiator 2 and Wicked on the same day and I swear to GOD if you fuckers try and do Wickiator or some such shit

The warm, cool morning air gave a lustre of midday to the sweltering winter evening.

Checky Chubber

On a podcast Meredith Scardino said that in Japan The Jersey Shore is called Macaroni Rascals and I've never loved a piece of trivia more.

The frustrating thing about the trolley problem is that there's always people you don't get to run over

I can't WAIT to hear them try to explain their way out of THIS!

My takes aren't that hot until you take off their glasses

TLDR it's because he keeps thinking the other actors are snowploughs

Jeremy Renner ‘terrified’ to return to acting after snowplough accident

Jeremy Renner ‘terrified’ to return to acting after snowplough accidentwww.theguardian.com Oscar-nominated actor, who has been cast in the next Knives Out film, says he ‘can’t just go play make-believe’ after being run over by his own snowplough a year ago Jeremy Renner doesn’t “have the energy” to take on challenging roles after his near fatal snowplough accident 18 months ago, saying he is “very terrified” to act again. Speaking on the Smartless podcast, which is hosted by actors Will Arnett, Jason Bateman and Sean Hayes, the Oscar-nominated actor said he was finding acting harder than he did before January 2023, when he was hospitalised in critical condition after his own Sno-Cat ran him over while he was clearing snow from the roads near his home in Nevada. Continue reading...

Hey I have a report due tomorrow, does anyone know if god was there and if he knew it was her, Margaret

Fuckin baaaaaarf

What do you suppose is literature's most whimsical use of the c word?

Do you ever see the children of rock stars and wonder if they're stupid too

@flophousepodcast.bsky.social God I cannot wait for the Unfrosted episode of The Flop House.

Ms. Fitzhenry?

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I invented the diarrhea strip, where you "Dip the Strip" in the toilet water after a bowel movement, before flushing. And if the diarrhea strip turns brown, it was diarrhea

Shartin Meen

Got shards in my nards.

This morning I rose and grond

I've been researching boxing equipment when all of a sudden this friendly little fellow pops into my algorithm!

The character of Jerry from the show Seinfeld is so funny, not at all like the real life guy that shares his name.

David Duchovny, I cannot get excited about your podcast if you can't.

I'll go to my grave not knowing if I like Vampire Weekend or not.

You might say the secret ingredient is lunch

The fifth element is lunch