the bluesky dev team is currently trapped in an abandoned mine shaft. unfortunately there isn't wifi down there so we're not getting video this week either. sending prayers
I once spent an entire Fourth of July, morning until dusk, beset upon by a menagerie of fools while trying to chase down a pack of swisher sweets. Closest my life has ever come to a Pynchon novel
The stranger who knocked my door seeking shelter offered naught but a grunt of thanks till, over stew, announcing the sound of rats in my granary! Anon, I rushed out but saw the grain intact, whereupon returning found the shape of a devilish penis pressed into my bowl of custard. Strange magics…
just finished the first british season of “the traitors.” softest reality show contestants of all time. oh, was it emotionally difficult to lie for ten days? did you find it sooo hard to play a game for money? baby shit. the average american sorority girl would crush them all like bugs
Joe Biden has NOT gotten his head stuck in a big pipe and had his cranium stretched out to conehead proportions. And he shouldn’t have to go on camera to prove that to you
today, on nextdoor, there are one million arguments happening between someone whose dog pisses the rug every time a bottle rocket pops and a guy typing with all his fingers resting on the home row for the last time
underwear subscriptions: you send me one pair of underwear a month, and after seven months I have enough underwear for the rest of my life? what is the long-term business plan here
getting sucked into silent hill but the greatest pain at the center of my psyche is not ordering french fries at lunch so the whole thing starts to become very potato-focused
Everyone needs to just settle down and let your betters at the New York Times editorial board take a break from hunting ortolan and decide who should be the next president
blame cartoons, blame politics, blame whatever you want: there’s just no sexual pleasure greater for a bald person than sticking their head in a bowling ball polisher
