Mr. Cait

@chas.bsky.social

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I need a streamer that only has movies released between 1980 and 1999. I am not in a mental or emotional place to handle the world being on fire without being able to watch a movie I saw on HBO a dozen times.

It’s go time.

Is your job a mess? Did the bear season 3 not fix your soul? Are you in a permanent state of low-level panic attack from watching the end of democracy in real time? Try ordering three sandwiches for lunch. Three sandwiches: the tried and true method for dealing with whatever life throws at you

I have a great idea where to place the first six of these.

I think we can really bring people together and solve a lot of this country’s problem by constructing 50 or 60 strategically placed guillotines.

I know there’s a lot going on in this app and the world and everything, but check out this animal I saw driving a sick orange dune buggy today

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Mr. Cait

I don’t want a cyber truck. I want a 1983 Chevrolet El Camino and a cowboy hat.

Happy last weekend of Pride, kids.

Remember, you don’t have to watch the debate. You can just as easily watch the episode of Columbo where he talks at length about how he likes his wife thick as fuck.

Season 3 of the Bear dropped. Can’t wait to see how that greasy little rat ruins his friends’ lives this time!

It's crunch time at my job and I'm seriously considering having a twelve-y of Miller Lite tallboys and a steak bomb sub door dashed to the woods across from my place. Notes to driver: "I'll be on the ground. In the woods. Take one of the tallboys on me. No mushrooms on the sub. Via con dios."

Gatorade is THIRST AID! For that DEEP DOWN BODY THIRST! We need to bring back jingles and Gatorade in glass bottles.

Watching Kendrick Lamar perform Not Like Us live over and over just to feel something. Live your life in such a way that Kendrick doesn’t wake up one day with the notion to vaporize you to atoms.

This heat wave has me in my bad guy era. Am I dying?

Eat shit, Kyrie, you giant fucking weirdo. BANNER 18

Happy Father’s Day to all of you, from me, your fun weekend dad.

Don’t trust anyone who defends cybertrucks, goatees, or working for the military industrial complex.

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Mr. Cait

the thing you have to understand about ET is he think he slick

Back to the Future is on tv. It’s a ruthlessly perfect screenplay. Not one second is wasted. As incredible as Michael J Fox is, I would give a week’s pay to watch the Eric Stoltz cut.

Why not. Fuck it

I don’t care that he’s a felon, I will proudly cast my vote in November for Hunter Biden. America needs a party animal. Now more than ever.

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Mr. Cait

i googled "frank frazetta pussy cloth" trying to find the original post and the first result was my own tweet asking for it the last time i wanted it. tweet attached btw

Wife out of town. Time to cook and consume an entire package of the bad hot dogs.

Wife out of town. Time to buy a cargo net and one measuring cup.

Wife out of town. Time to buy Japanese mayonnaise and dishwasher cleaners for same day delivery.

Wife out of town. Time to buy and drink twelve Moxies.

I want to state, for the record, I am very proud of all of you.

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Mr. Cait

i am personally shocked they managed to make it look stupider

I had three Miller Light tallboys and a couple of hot dogs. Those who gave their last full measure of devotion to this country didn’t do it for a three day weekend, but I like to believe they’re cool with the living enjoying life. Thats what America is all about, Charlie Brown.

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Mr. Cait

I hit 333 followers so I'm gonna give away a pet portrait commission! To enter: 1. Be following me, obviously 2. Like this post 3. Leave a comment I'll draw a winner next Friday (5/31)! If you don't have a pet, we can discuss other options 😊

I think we can really bring people together and solve a lot of this country’s problem by constructing 50 or 60 strategically placed guillotines.