Hello Earth! I am proud to unveil the 2024 Count Binface general election manifesto, which I feel sure will be the most sensible manifesto published today. #MakeYourVoteCount#BindependenceDay
Most sensible full stop. However I would advocate for a National Hand Dryer Commission to review all hand dryer locations and have powers to mandate improvements. I humbly put myself forwards as its initial Chair. I do not seek high office, but when duty calls I stand ready.
Bare minimum. Total ban on those wheezing monstrosities that simply make your hands warm and wet rather than just wet. If it doesn't flap your trousers is it even a hand dryer?
Maybe too late for this GE, but in future how about a policy to restrict ice cream vans to playing only orchestral music by Mozart? (www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles...)
Love #8. I'm sure I have heard of something similar before, I can't remember exactly what it was called
The Northallerton level crossing one just made me LOL in public
Back in 2019 (or maybe the last London Mayorals?) I remember you promising to cap croissants at £1.00 exactly. What have you got to say for yourself over this dishonourable U-turn? 🤬
please also allow people who wrote their GCSE 'O' Levels as dehumanized students to petition to have their certificates amended to say ”GCSE 'O(D)' Levels“. The 'D' stands for Dehumanized. Thanks. I was going to ask Rishi but reconsidered upon witnessing his usage of a hammer.
I'm not sure about the final policy commitment, you might be over committing yourself by taking on both PM and Eurovision roles at the same time.
Perhaps instead appoint yourself the selector of the Eurovision entry?
That way on a busy year you can always put a backup in instead.