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Hello Earth! I am proud to unveil the 2024 Count Binface general election manifesto, which I feel sure will be the most sensible manifesto published today. #MakeYourVoteCount #BindependenceDay
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Most sensible full stop. However I would advocate for a National Hand Dryer Commission to review all hand dryer locations and have powers to mandate improvements. I humbly put myself forwards as its initial Chair. I do not seek high office, but when duty calls I stand ready.
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All public hand dryers to be given necessary power to actually dry hands?
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Bare minimum. Total ban on those wheezing monstrosities that simply make your hands warm and wet rather than just wet. If it doesn't flap your trousers is it even a hand dryer?
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A rousing speech, sir. Let's make it happen
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"I like your manifesto Let's put it to the testo"
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I can definitely get behind this, but I have reservations about Winkleman’s fringe getting that level of recognition.
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Pudsey's eye just made me snort on public transport so thanks for that
Maybe too late for this GE, but in future how about a policy to restrict ice cream vans to playing only orchestral music by Mozart? (www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles...)
The Mozart effectwww.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
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Will #2 apply to ex-PMs living in California? They may need to be forcibly repatriated.
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All very sensible, except that Teletext was far superior to Ceefax.
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Love #8. I'm sure I have heard of something similar before, I can't remember exactly what it was called The Northallerton level crossing one just made me LOL in public
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Finally, a manifesto we can all believe in.😉
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Back in 2019 (or maybe the last London Mayorals?) I remember you promising to cap croissants at £1.00 exactly. What have you got to say for yourself over this dishonourable U-turn? 🤬
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please also allow people who wrote their GCSE 'O' Levels as dehumanized students to petition to have their certificates amended to say ”GCSE 'O(D)' Levels“. The 'D' stands for Dehumanized. Thanks. I was going to ask Rishi but reconsidered upon witnessing his usage of a hammer.
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Is this a contract or a manifesto? I'm totally behind the Winkleman Fringe Preservation Action
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I'm sure many moderate people respect your stand on ceefax, but what about all this extremist nonsense about MPs being local representatives?
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If your tongue was very firmly planted in your cheek on joining the UK, then this has merit.
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I'm not sure about the final policy commitment, you might be over committing yourself by taking on both PM and Eurovision roles at the same time. Perhaps instead appoint yourself the selector of the Eurovision entry? That way on a busy year you can always put a backup in instead.