DamnYouVodka

@damnyouvodka.bsky.social

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Undercover dolphin, sleep enthusiast, she/her.

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I JUST LISTENED TO A PODCAST COMMERCIAL WHERE THE WHOLE POINT OF THE COMMERCIAL WAS AN AD BEING DROWNED OUT BY LOUD VISCERAL ASMR CRUNCHING AND I MOTION THE PERSON WHO CAME UP WITH THE IDEA SHOULD BE PUT TO DEATH

Not to flex but I was in therapy before therapy was cool 💅🏻

Hades I walked so that Hades II cOULD RUNNNNNNNNN

E-list celebrities are my sweet spot

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DamnYouVodka

ME: if mom is short for mother then tom is short for tother TOM: but- ME: i don’t make the rules tother

What is your favorite emoji and why is it 🫠

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DamnYouVodka

To be fair, the Mayans did tell us to stop in 2012.. probably shoulda listened.

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DamnYouVodka

No crackers? No black pepper? I’m just supposed to rawdog this soup?

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DamnYouVodka

While you were being a lollygag, I was being a dillydally.

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DamnYouVodka

This is how I parenthood.

It's impossible to spell Mississippi without carefully saying every letter to yourself as you do it

@lucyknisley.bsky.social We loved your newest book 😊 everythingmountainbikes.com/article/ride...

Can we normalize calling out powerful people? www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/film...

Justice for Nex Benedict 😭😭😭😭 www.pghlesbian.com/2024/02/grie...

Wouldn't it be wild if we lived in a society where you didn't have to pass a test to drive a car and you could just go buy a car and use it with no training. Wouldn't that be wild?? Why would we ever allow people to do something so unsafe YOU KNOW??

Whenever I make a post about screaming for common sense gun laws I get nonsense replies from gun enthusiasts. If no one can logically debate that the USA doesn't need common-sense gun laws, why are we not doing them?

USA NEEDS COMMON-SENSE GUN LAWS. USA NEEDS COMMON-SENSE GUN LAWS. USA NEEDS COMMON-SENSE GUN LAWS. USA NEEDS COMMON-SENSE GUN LAWS. USA NEEDS COMMON-SENSE GUN LAWS. USA NEEDS COMMON-SENSE GUN LAWS. USA NEEDS COMMON-SENSE GUN LAWS. USA NEEDS COMMON-SENSE GUN LAWS.

Why did I just watch 5 minutes of a man cleaning a hoof?

Can we make a law that states no one can get married till their brain fully forms at age 25?

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DamnYouVodka

the urge to yell "No! Go fish!" at people who need new opinions

I'm an educated 38 year old and I still can't confidently spell Febuary

@michaelhobbes.bsky.social I don't know if you'll see this but if it makes you feel any better I had the SAME FUCKING FLU -- it's not brain cancer (I know it was mostly a bit, but still) it's just a really shitty flu this season ✨

Is it now a requirement for every podcast to have a sassy sidekick producer who is also a young woman?

I'm terrified of passing people in long hallways.

Something about walking around with just socks on makes me feel more naked than walking around totally naked.

Ducks: "Hello there, hi, pleasant day we're having. Oop -- let me just scoot on over and get out of your way. Cherio!" Geese: "FUCK YOU AND YOUR CAR THAT CAN CRUSH ME I AM SITTING IN THIS PARKING SPACE"

The TikTok experience: watching a horse get vacuumed and loving it.

I believe Spiderman's surge in popularity correlates with our embracing nerd culture: Batman = brooding asshole ❌ Superman = one-dimensional boy scout ❌ Spiderman = funny nerd ✅