more millennials need to watch The Apartment (1960) to find relatable content like
what if you hated too many ads before your shows
what if you had to rent your place that was too much of your paycheck out to your bosses so they could have affairs, and they kept promising to put in a good word
spirits of dead relatives watching you masturbate: creepy! disturbing shameful feeling
spirit of dr ruth watching you masturbate: thrilling! want to do a good job to make her proud
my stepmom had a stroke earlier this year but nothing can stand in her way when it comes to her true passion: making up mean nicknames for republican politicians and using them as if everyone already knows them. she had "juvenile delinquent vance" in the chamber ready for today
i'm visiting my parents in buffalo and excited to report that the local TV news has found the local angle (5 minute segment on the assassination of william mckinley)
richard simmons and dr ruth were the butt of constant jokes but in retrospect they were probably two of the best people in american public life in the 1980s
I used to work at 7-11 and an important secret is: we let people any amount of liquid nacho cheese on anything for any reason. Put it on your fried chicken. Mix it in your slurpee. God cannot see you. The only law is Thelemic and the only limit is what your punished body can take.
the real October surprise will be Biden legalizing cannabis, smoking a fat blunt live on TV, and then going on a gaffe-filled ramble about how weed has changed his life and its made him super mellow but he's also been baked for all public appearances since 2018. this explains why he cant talk good.
funniest trump admin bit was tht he appointed noted weed hater jeff sessions as AG who was SALIVATING to crush the permissive legal regime that grew up under obama, but a colorado republican senator got trump's ear for 5 min and he was already mad at sessions abt russia stuff so he didn't let him
new comics curmudgeon post! joshreads.com/2024/07/high... real talk as a hearing aid user: being able to do this is one of the greatest things about having hearing aids, it almost beats actually hearing better
when you come at the king ... you say it's up to him, mill around aimlessly like lost sheep saying someone should do something, freeze some but not all of his money, and most of all, give disgruntled anonymous statements to reporters
hey you know who else almost fell out of a coconut tree, but then discovered that he existed in the context of all in which he lived and what came before him
oh no i'm digging through my archives to try to find the earliest comment of the week post and found this post from six months in, where a sheepishly announce that i have ads now, and also the site is available on the danger hiptop
Ohhh, so you're going to college are you? Hey, did you hear that, honey? Your son is going to college! Turns out he's too good to work at the dick sucking factory like his old man!
if I were Dean Phillips I would be unable to comment, too haunted by the revelation that a lot of Democrats *do* have deep reservations about Biden but my vibes were just too fucked for them to consider me
