You're under no obligation to love or forgive people who hurt you.
Not feeling positively toward someone doesn't make you a bad person-- or a bad family member.
And also: wanting to avoid someone, not wanting to be friendly with them, doesn't mean you're "withholding forgiveness". "I forgive you, you have nothing to repay to me, I wish you no harm" is completely compatible with "but I will not pretend to be your friend & do not want to do anything with you"
my non-forgiveness isn't holding on to something bitter; it's affirming the hurt parts of myself by recognizing their actions were wrong and harmful and regarding those actions with peaceful righteous anger.
Correct there are no obligations. Forgiveness can be issued by the aggrieved if they feel it has been earned, or they may never forgive. There is no obligation to forgive.
Yes, I am, as a follower of Christ. Forgiving those who hurt us and loving those who do not deserve it is fundamental to this walk. If we only love and forgive those we think deserve it we become bitter, lonely, self-serving people. Generosity and humility depend on love and grace.
I don't know many Christians who really give folks grace and forgiveness. If they did they wouldn't be so mad about the gays and would leave non Christians the hell alone. 🙃 Seems to me Christians mostly just are obligated to forgive people who abuse others.
You do not understand Christianity then. Fair, many people claim to be Christians but live contrary to the gospel. Many are hateful and judgmental, especially in regard to sin in others instead of sharing the gospel in grace and love.
Tragically you were traumatized by the worst of cultural evangelicalism. Culture wars polluted the gospel. The religion has suffered these power struggles even from the first century. This does not mean the pure gospel is irrelevant.
