Geraldine

@everywhereist.bsky.social

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James Beard Award-winning writer and all-around weirdo behind Everywhereist.com. Author, ALL OVER THE PLACE (Hachette, 2017) and the upcoming IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT (Penguin, 2024)

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Geraldine

Reply to

Fredo "Lowtax" Fabrucci

@everywhereist.bsky.social tried a bunch of the Mountain Dew flavors and wrote about them www.everywhereist.com/2022/07/i-tr...

I Tried 21 Flavors of Mountain Dew For Some Reason.www.everywhereist.com Explaining why I embarked on a quest to consume as many different flavors of Mountain Dew as possible is not an easy task. Why am I voluntarily drinking a beverage whose ad campaigns seem to vaguely s...

A few years ago I displayed menstrual products on my bookshelves the way Lauren Boebert does her firearms. And everyone was super cool about it! JUST KIDDING. A bunch of conservatives - including the Representative herself - got really angry. www.everywhereist.com/2021/03/all-...

All The Insults You Meet As a Woman On The Internetwww.everywhereist.com CW: This post contains mentions of death/rape threats, some graphic language, descriptions of online abuse, screen caps of verbal abuse, transphobic and hateful comments. If you need a mental palate c...

I wrote about Lauren Boebert's Beetlejuice fracas, how theater is fundamentally SUPER horny, and how most of us have learned to care about those around us enough to know how to behave. www.everywhereist.com/2023/09/hey-...

Hey, Lauren Boebert, I get it: Theater is Super Horny.www.everywhereist.com Several years ago, I crossed paths with the rusty, hateful jalopy that is Lauren Boebert’s internet presence. The Representative had recently shoved a few firearms onto her bookshelf with the care o...

I totally forgot about this somehow, but a few years ago I displayed menstrual products on my bookshelves the way Lauren Boebert does her firearms. And a bunch of conservatives - including the Representative herself - got really angry about it. www.everywhereist.com/2021/03/all-...

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Geraldine

i am enraptured by the pedo-fighter logic of having to commit sex crime to fight sex crime. need a prestige hbo series that probes their brains like an even dumber mindhunter.

one of the sound of freedom producer says he touched a 16-year-old's boobs during an undercover child trafficking sting that was being filmed to prove he wasn't a cop www.vice.com/en/article/z...

‘Sound of Freedom’ Producer Felt the Naked Breasts of Apparently Underage Trafficking Victimwww.vice.com Files from a joint local and federal criminal investigation released to VICE News describe video evidence of the incident, which took place in Mexico on an Operation Underground Railroad mission.

My new book is AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER. It's about cinnamon rolls, and online abuse, and asshole chefs, and what food means to us. For some reason Amazon has my book as the #1 new release for chef's memoirs (?????) and everything is weird and hilarious. www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/720922...

Me holding onto a grudge after everyone tells me to get over it:

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Geraldine

Someone blocked me on Twitter years ago, so I blocked them back, so I went ahead and blocked them here preemptively because I'm taking this shit to the grave even if I no longer remember why. This isn't about fresh starts. It's about continuing pointless grudges.

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Geraldine

This is art. Also, thanks to questionable decisions in college and isopropyl alcohol sold as "vodka" in New Hampshire, I have not been able to even smell Code Red Mountain Dew without 🤮

Here's the time I tried 21 flavors of Mountain Dew, for some weird reason: https://www.everywhereist.com/2022/07/i-tried-21-flavors-of-mountain-dew-for-some-reason/

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Geraldine

Reply to

John Scalzi

Please tell me you’ve read this hilarious piece by @everywhereist.bsky.social

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Geraldine

don’t make me tap the “language softening is violence” sign

Truly don't understand why both political parties aren't freaking out about climate change, like do Republicans have a back-up planet that we don't know about or what

"Don't use these tips to create an army of crow brethren" (Proceeds to give us tips to create an army of crow brethren.)

It seems to me that the time is ripe for a Bluesky thread about how—and maybe even why—to befriend crows. (1/n)

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Geraldine

BREAKING: Elon has blocked Catturd

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Geraldine

I think about this piece at least a few times a year. The way @everywhereist.bsky.social switches back and forth between creating the apology cinnamon rolls and stories from her own life is masterful. Who else can use a haphazardly written recipe as a metaphor for sexism so eloquently?

This is a blog post I wrote a while ago about the time I made the cinnamon rolls from Mario Batali's sexual harassment apology newsletter: https://www.everywhereist.com/2018/01/i-made-the-pizza-cinnamon-rolls-from-mario-batalis-sexual-misconduct-apology-letter/

I Made the Pizza Cinnamon Rolls from Mario Batali's Sexual Misconduct Apology Letterwww.everywhereist.com Last night, I made cinnamon rolls. I’m not a huge fan of cinnamon rolls, per se, but this recipe was included in Mario Batali’s sexual misconduct apology letter, and so I feel compelled to make t...

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Geraldine

Read this.

Ummmm, hiiiii (*taps mic*) Sooo, my name is Geraldine. I'm new here. I'm a James Beard Award winning food writer and author. This is my blog: www.everywhereist.com

Home - The Everywhereistwww.everywhereist.com All Over The Place Available Now I wrote a book about getting lost and finding yourself and also peeing on things when you are angry. If you liked Twilight, you will probably hate my book. Buy it now...

Me, trying to use a new social network:

Trying to get on BlueSky after the news that the birb site is getting rid of blocking:

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