Francis Serpa: They had to come to America because no one in Europe could stand them. It always gets spun as religious persecution, but what if they were just jerks?

All this fancy technology, and there’s still no scientifically accurate, super-high resolution video game walkthrough of Ancient Rome on the market.

I want New England, 1720, to just walk around in. See puritan farmers blunting ploughshares on stones and building iconic stone walls every spring. Squish my boots in the horsecrap in the gutters.

ooh let’s watch a woman be hanged as a witch because she petted a cat once

imagine the flavorless food!

January through May is hardtack and salt cod.

We went to Plymouth Plantation a while back, and this was one of the random talking points that stuck. Because even for early crops going into the ground in early April in a good year, they don’t produce for another month or so. So springtimes were marked by some of the worst hunger of the year

It made Lent make more sense, especially as a way to encourage saving some food for that lean time

Puritan culture is the worst culture ever invented

They had to come to America because no one in Europe could stand them. It always gets spun as religious persecution, but what if they were just jerks?

in the immortal words of robin williams, “people so uptight the english kicked them out”

They sucked shit!

It's like how people say Lindsey Graham being unmarried at his age is proof he's gay, when the simplest explanation is that nobody could ever love him.

ok to be fair about Lindsey though

I should try to find a marine biologist who is naming a new spineless bottom feeder, and convince him that it should be called Echinodermata lindseygraham.

Is that before or after we get Echinodermata marcorubio?

I don't know that Rubio would be Echinodermata. They might have enough arms to hold onto a bottle of water. Perhaps a pelagic nudibranch.

I got 5 on it, let's make this happen. And then one for Mitch McConnell.

The difficulty there is, how do you find a new species of turtle, and then how do you test to see if it is racist?

That’s definitely a “why not both?” situation.

[Why not both? gif]

and? orson scott card is married

"Ender's Game" by itself is more than anything Lindsey Graham has ever contributed to the world.

It's always seemed much more likely that they were the ones doing the persecuting, and everyone else was just fucking sick to death of it.

"Persecution for what, motherfucker"

Decapitating the King of England.

Connecticut is home to these heroes.

The Cave Where Two British Judges Hid in Exile After Sentencing the King to Deathwww.atlasobscura.com They hid in "Judges Cave" the New Haven wilderness while the royal authorities searched for them.

Reminds me of my high school American history teacher saying “people didn’t come to America for religious freedom, they came for a place where their brand of Christianity was in charge.”

In case this makes people think I had a good high school education, my world history teacher showed us a video about the pyramids being built by aliens (Atlanteans???) using acoustic levitation. She said it’s “probably what really happened”.

Lmao.

This is why the 1st Amendment is so mind boggling - it was like after 150 years of more and more sects showing up, they had a brief moment of clarity and decided not to fight bloody wars over religion.

thats exactly it tho; they were just jerks they religiously persecuted everyone else the moment they had political power

The Native Americans were the only people who wouldn't shoot them on sight, that was a mistake

Hindsight, amirite?

Evergreen question.

I’m being persecuted in yet *another* land. AITA?

I mean, but their religion was being jerks, so really, tomayto, tomahto

Francis, when you get down to it, aren't *all* Calvinists just jerks? I mean, Predestination? What a concept!

Seriously! It's like they gave themselves permission. If our fate is predestined and our actions don't matter I guess we can all be jerks

Interesting point. I always viewed it this way: Calvinists: "Predestination for me..." (we are the chosen ones) "...but not for thee! (all you other damned sinners who will burn in hellfire.) Srsly, that's very anti Jesus thinking, to my mind.

no, they were, it’s facts

The real correct answer is that some religions deserve persecution and even violence if need be.

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SUCH jerks

WAIT this actually makes sense. Those same puritans are the ones who founded the United States and now look at what we have 💀

are you being persecuted or do you just have bad vibes???

Oh, it’s religious persecution alright—in that the religious folks were the ones persecuting people.

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