Cucumber With Anxiety

@ghoulnextdoor.bsky.social

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I am a magikarp of a human. Useless and adorable. Name is Dorian. He/Him/His or Zie/Zier/Zurs

Pfp is a sliced cucumber. Banner is a photo of Gummy Hot Dogs, artificially flavored.

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Well then.

I had to scroll three pages of ads before I found Abbie Hoffman's classic. Fuck this dystopia we coulda had a cooler one

I must brag about my joyfriend. They messaged me and went hey you had a tough day at work, so all your laundry is done and I got you a treat They are so sweet. It makes my heart so full to finally be loved and supported in my relationships.

I inherited some extremely suspicious dvds from Mom and my wife and I are deciding if we are playing roulette with these

Today's card (by artist Sofan Chan) is Courage. You have within yourself the courage to face your fears, to find peace, and to cease the self deception. The hardest courage to summon is the one to see within ourselves with love and gentleness. You are not a mistake. You are loved, deeply, as you are

Trash Tuesday is Eternal.

Today's card (by artist Sofan Chan) is Desires. Where have your desires lead you? Have they improved your life? Or have they pulled you away from the beautiful present moment to focus on the fantasy of future? We are invited to sit with what is good, what is now, and admire it. You are now and loved

My aunt on fb: the trans antifa are destroying America with their Satanist plots powered by commie drugs they are constantly worshipping evil Me: crying because I saw my cat slow blink at herself in the mirror and that means she loves herself So I mean she's not wrong but-

I accidentally read 'Content Brian' and milliseconds after imagining Content Brian I loathe him. Content Brian is the sort of human that wears pressed khaki shorts

It's the logical endpoint of Content Brain. Content isn't good or bad, it is measured only in volume and flow rate

I had to wear actual pants and go into the actual office and speak to actual humans. We must abolish captial immediately

My biomom told me I was planning something out and I was like well that is the first time I have been accused of that do u think it would hold up in court? The prosecution has a large burden of proof here ma

it’s tuesday and thankfully we were all spared it also being april 1st y’all know the drill by now, show me those brain worms 💕

Today's card (by artist Sofan Chan) is Self Acceptance. Perfect for the TDoV, accepting who we are means we stop struggling to be who we aren't. It can be fun to play a character; living as that character can be a nightmare. Sweep away who you think you should be, and be who you are. You are loved.

I am still quite proud of this silly project. I spent $1.47 on some cards and glued them to the table, cut a sheet of plastic, and and attached it. Cat for scale

Today's card, by artist Sofan Chan, is Energy. This card invites us to remember we are never alone. The iron in our blood comes from the heart of stars. That star shines on in us. We are a beautiful part of this universe, and we cannot be created or destroyed. You are loved, as you are, deeply.

Today's card, drawn by Sofan Chan, is Pure Understanding. Let us invite ourselves to understand our own actions and emotions. Why do we feel this way? Do these actions make us feel better or worse? Understanding the source of our emotions allows us to have a healthy relationship with them.

I heard the sentence 'Drinking money squeezed from the blood of the powerless' earlier today and I cannot get it out of my head.

This is the face of a kitty who has never ever once had a treat in her whole life and might die if she does not get eighty-five *immediately*

I once asked at a panel which Bronte was the basic one and a fist fight broke out in the chaos

Jane Austen is a great prose stylist, but not a great writer. She's in the canon because a 250-page book about not jumping to conclusions is something you can teach to high school thickos who would choke to death on something by a Bronte.

Healing from trauma fucking sucks no wonder my parents didn't bother There needs to be a monster truck option, smash that shit in a truckosaurus or something while yelling WHOOOO and fireworks happen

welcome to another lovely trash tuesday mr. clean held me at gun point and forced $3 into my pocket. he wouldn’t let me go until i agreed to post this picture and say “i love magic erasers.” anyway, lemme see those brain worms so mr. clean will let me see my family again

Listening to Cool People Who Did Cool Things and thinking about my junior year math teacher who *insisted* Oscar Wilde wasn't gay because 'everyone loves their friends like that'

Got the last stage of my surgery canceled last minute whoo thanks insurance I hope you burn in hell

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Cucumber With Anxiety

doctors: we’ve discovered a new type of guy and they are just everywhere philosophers: my god, my world, upside down, the modern world is changing us beyond measure doctors: i mean they’ve been here, we’ve just been calling them slurs philosophers: so new, I must faint

Sentient Beings and Literate Biomes, please observe this beautiful patreon and consider how delicious your life could be

Kinder bueno nutella shortbread cookies www.patreon.com/posts/kinder...

The next human that sends me a meeting request to 'just touch base' 15 minutes before the meeting time needs to pay for my anxiety meds first

What do I want? Snacks. What do I get? Attacks.

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Cucumber With Anxiety

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Cucumber With Anxiety

Oh nothin I’m just complaining. Always good to support @skypeascientist.bsky.social as a monthly donor, but that’s not gonna be a feasible option for everyone Patreon.com/skypeaacientist

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Cucumber With Anxiety

I'm not saying this is the best ducking thing I've ever knitted, but I'm not NOT saying that. Pattern by Tin Can Knits, inspiration absolutely not my own (I saw it somewhere online, if anyone knows the originator I'd love to give credit with my many thanks).

This absolutely beautiful baby is named Cookie Butter ;-;

😁🍞

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Cucumber With Anxiety

Once upon a time, the ever-evolving graffiti on this reservoir near the psych unit was a cave-painting-record. I photographed much of it over months. One day they painted it grey. The next day:

I would die without my hormones. My body would start to decay, quite literally, while I am still alive. This is aside from the fact that I feel like a zombie and want to die.