Surprised Eel Historian, PhD

@greenleejw.bsky.social

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Surprised historian, not surprised eels.

Doctor of medieval history. Talking about eels, maps, the Spaniel, and funny things kids say.

Custom maps on commission:
https://surprisedeelmaps.com/

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For my friends in England, it's election day! Happy voting to you all. Just remember: you have a long and proud history as a people who really fucking loved eels. Remember that, when you cast your vote. What would the eels want you to do? 🗃️🧪

I love the desert.

I just adopted a plate full of chicken nuggets. I’m at a coffee shop & there was a family eating dinner from Wendy’s on the patio by me. They had to go, and couldn’t carry their leftovers home on their ATVs. So now I’m the proud parent of 9, no…8. No, wait…7 nuggets.

My other favorite map that I've drawn this month: this one is for a fantasy world that my client uses as a base for their writing. Before you ask: an invisible barrier stands between the verdant south and the black sand desert of the north, cutting a sharp line across the world.

Shadowfax, ford of all horses

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD

it is, according to the folks I've read, the only place on the planet with precisely this kind of crater. and of course there's a major battle fought there.

It's been a quite mapsome month, and I thought I'd share one of my favorites that I've done. This is a map of The Nördlinger Ries impact crater, for @profgabriele.com and @lollardfish.bsky.social 's forthcoming book, "Oathbreakers." It's the first time I've drawn a topographical map like this.

Public policy set by “I did my own research” judges. Fuck.

Eel-rents in medieval England became less common over the centuries, but didn't completely disappear for a long time. In 1572, for example, Gilbert Attwell rented a water mill in Brambridge from the High Sheriff of Hampshire for 41s 6d each year, as well as 125 eels (5 sticks). 🗃️🧪

It’s me, quoted in The New Yorker, like I know what I’m talking about. Oh, the places my very weird dissertation has taken me!

The pre-modern English didn't have a monopoly on eel metaphors. The French had some awesome ones, too! My favorite is this enjoyable expression that means to try to do something impossible: "rompre l'anguille au genou" -- to break an eel over your knee (like a stick). 🗃️🧪

The sunset tonight. SMH.

Utah: home of the Ladder-Day Saints

In these troubled days, we're all wondering the same thing: what happens to our eel-rents if we die? Good news! They can be inherited! In 1425 Hugh Bardulf died, & left his heirs some holdings in Norfolk that paid a rent of several hens & 1,425 salted eels (57 sticks) per year. 🗃️🧪

Do you have enemies? Not sure how to deal with them? Have you thought about eels? It's classical! The Roman noble Vedius Pollio kept a pool of large eels, & he threw in people who displeased him, then watched the eels tear them apart. (read to the end for a demo video). 1/4 🗃️🧪

All the best philosophical tools can hang from a lanyard around your neck.

An eel historian, after biking with his young elver for 70 miles. A little tired, but very proud of the kid.

I rode in the MS 150 yesterday with my dad (35 yrs older than meme) and my son (35 yrs younger). Thanks to everyone who donated! My dad dropped out at 30 miles, not feeling well. My 13 yr old rode 70 miles in 95 degree heat…about 4x further than he’s ever ridden. A good day!

It’s a haircut day!

so much depends upon a cold spaniel snoot demanding things like breakfast. butter. walkies.

In 1257 Henry III needed supplies for a party, so he wrote his sheriff of Cambridgeshire & told him to send 1 crane, 4 peacocks, 4 swans, & a whole lot of eels. The sheriff had to pay for this himself, but could claim reimbursement up £15 15s 10d. Beyond that, he was on his own. 🗃️🧪

Do you dream about eels? I mean...come on. Who doesn't? But what does it mean? Well...in his 1576 book on dreams, Thomas Hill wrote that visions of eels signify labor. So when eels slither into your dreams, it's really your work creeping in to bother you. Checks out for me! 🧪🗃️

The 10 yr old discovers slot canyons.

Know someone suffering from fits? Well, here's a cure from 17th C. polymath Kenelm Digby: Trim their nails & put the trimmings in a linen bag tied to the neck of a live eel in water. The eel dies, & the person will be cured! NB: don't let your dog eat the eel. It'll die, too. 🗃️🧪

Pretty sure I found the Well of Souls

I’m spending the day showing the boys one of my favorite places in the world: Goblin Valley.

Eels were everywhere in pre-modern England. So if you wanted to explain something, you might put it in eel terms! Were the Apostles naturally gifted speakers? No! said Richard Whitlock in 1654. Before they met Jesus, they were "fitter to catch Eeles than Soules." Aposteels, yo. 🗃️🧪

Saturday was Magna Carta Day, so I missed my chance to remind you that there's some eel history lurking behind the Great Charter. Let's do it now! Famously, the 1215 Magna Carta banned fish weirs on the Thames, the Medway, & all other major rivers in England. 1/2 🗃️🧪

A really great article on eels and eel fishing in Maine. I’d recommend it even if I wasn’t quoted in it. But I am! www.newyorker.com/magazine/2024/06/24/inside-the-slimy-smelly-secretive-world-of-glass-eel-fishing

Inside the Slimy, Smelly, Secretive World of Glass-Eel Fishingwww.newyorker.com Each spring, hundreds of millions of baby eels swarm the waterways of coastal Maine. Soaring global demand incited an era of jackpot payouts and international poaching.

The boys and I went for a hike up a mountain today. We all had a great time, And now? Now is the time for hamburgers.