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Mark Twain hated the Fourth of July. He was often invited to speak at Independence Day festivities. His audiences assumed that his reliably unpatriotic remarks were tongue-in-cheek jests. But he meant that shit. 1/9
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They laughed heartily when he said, in Keokuk in 1886, that the best thing a speaker could do on such an occasion was sit down, which he then did. They laughed in 1899 when he suggested the holiday was "only sacred" to "the surgeon, the undertaker, & the insurance offices." 2/9
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They laughed in 1907 when he said, "The Declaration of Independence was written by a British subject…there was not an American in the country on that day except the Indians out on the plains." 3/9
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But in an 1908 entry of his Autobiography, which he knew would not be published until a century after his death, he reveals that his disdain was always deadly serious: "I detest that English holiday with all my heart;… 4/9
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…not because it is not American, but merely because this nation goes insane, & by the help of noise & fire turns into an odious pandemonium. The nation calls it by all sorts of pet names, but if I had the naming of it I would throw poetry aside & call it Hell's Delight." 5/9
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Take a curiosity from a European, Italian: Was Twain more the father of Trumpism or the mother of cancel culture? I’m kidding, of course. Not too much… obv. 🇮🇹🇪🇺
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Leader of the Anti-Imperialist League.
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As it were. Not a chance that he would admire a fascist.