Matt Seybold: Mark Twain hated the Fourth of July. He was often invited to speak at Independence Day festivities. His audiences assumed that his reliably unpatriotic remarks were tongue-in-cheek jests. But he meant that shit. 1/9

Mark Twain hated the Fourth of July. He was often invited to speak at Independence Day festivities. His audiences assumed that his reliably unpatriotic remarks were tongue-in-cheek jests. But he meant that shit. 1/9

They laughed heartily when he said, in Keokuk in 1886, that the best thing a speaker could do on such an occasion was sit down, which he then did. They laughed in 1899 when he suggested the holiday was "only sacred" to "the surgeon, the undertaker, & the insurance offices." 2/9

They laughed in 1907 when he said, "The Declaration of Independence was written by a British subject…there was not an American in the country on that day except the Indians out on the plains." 3/9

But in an 1908 entry of his Autobiography, which he knew would not be published until a century after his death, he reveals that his disdain was always deadly serious: "I detest that English holiday with all my heart;… 4/9

…not because it is not American, but merely because this nation goes insane, & by the help of noise & fire turns into an odious pandemonium. The nation calls it by all sorts of pet names, but if I had the naming of it I would throw poetry aside & call it Hell's Delight." 5/9

Widespread public drunkenness & fireworks were a reliably deadly combination. "We lose more fools on this day than on all the other days of the year put together," Twain wrote, "We destroy more property every Fourth of July night than the whole of the United States is worth” 6/9

Year after year long lists of casualties were published during the week that followed. Twain didn't think the "odious pandemonium" stood for anything. It was an imitation of Guy Fawkes Day, an excuse to fire pistols in the air & set things ablaze, crying patriotism. 7/9

Take a curiosity from a European, Italian: Was Twain more the father of Trumpism or the mother of cancel culture? I’m kidding, of course. Not too much… obv. 🇮🇹🇪🇺

Father of anti-imperialist Antifa, more like. Literally a member of the Anti-Imperialist League. guides.loc.gov/world-of-189...

Research Guides: World of 1898: International Perspectives on the Spanish American War: Mark Twainguides.loc.gov This presentation provides resources and documents about the Spanish-American War, the period before the war, and some of the fascinating people who participated in the fighting or commented about it.

I saw Hal Holbrook do Mark Twain to an audience of moneyed Virginians shortly after the 2017 inauguration. He obliged them with 10 minutes of the usual stuff, then spent the rest doing Mark’s material in this vein. Played to near silence except me and the librarian next to me, hooting with approval.

Hal Holbrook aka The Best of Us. (Also holy hell my iPhone 6 takes a way better picture than my 13 ever has.)

Yeah, that photo is gorgeous.

Holbrook’s one of my heroes. Produced the podcast which features his last appearance as Twain. After performing “United States of Lyncherdom” at Ole Miss during integration with National Guardsman in the trees, he was never again afraid to go hard.

Disney based the animatronic Mark Twain who hosts EPCOT's American Adventure on what the CIA had hoped Hal Holbrook would become before he was "radicalized" by the Civil Rights Movement. Isn’t automation grand??? Happy Fourth of July!

Downloading now!

What’s the podcast called? Can’t find it.

First episode we ever made, so it's a little LoFi, but I stand by the narrative.

“The Gospel of Revolt: Mark Twain in Elmira,” An Episode of The C19: America In The Nineteenth-Century Podcast, Featuring Hal Holbrookmarktwainstudies.com A podcast tour of Elmira, listeners are introduced to the legacies of the Park Church, Woodlawn Cemetery, and Quarry Farm, as well as a cast of characters from the Underground Railroad, Women&#8217…

As I recall, in the 1967 broadcast of Holbrook’s Mark Twain Tonight! You can hear the audience go dead silent as they realize he’s talking about Vietnam.

Unfortunately, there's not many recordings of Holbrook's thousands of performances, but you can listen to his 1959 audio recording (based on the original Off-Broadway run that made him famous) & watch the 1967 TV version. He had to negotiate with CBS, but the '67 show is still way edgier.

If y'all wanna go really deep:

The Twain Doctrine: Citizen Holbrook & The Geopolitics of Colloquial Humormarktwainstudies.com Hal Holbrook was, briefly, an agent of the US government in the Cultural Cold War with the Soviet Union.

And:

You Could Get Bookings: A Review of Holbrook/Twainmarktwainstudies.com A new documentary paints an intimate portrait of the actor who spent 63 years playing one of America’s most iconic historical figures.

That’s our guy!

I would have LOVED to see this.

Barked like seals we did in a theater of geriatrics quietly fuming in their furs and good suits. (If memory serves, there were some other approvals in the nosebleeds. I’d splurged on orchestra.)

Twain's "The War Prayer" will forever and always be my favorite piece of literature.

Thank you. I had never read this piece until you mentioned it. I’ve now shared it with several people.

It's a profound and brutal piece. Twain actually instructed that it not be published until after his death.

Strongly second the rec of "War Prayer," but just a small correction. Twain only uttered the famous "only dead men can tell the truth in this world" line after he failed to find a publisher to run it. He was ready to take the blowback, but no magazine was, despite Twain's enormous popularity.

And I learned something new. BTW, did you ever read "1601"? Other end of the spectrum...

Just read your bio...of course you did.

I have. I even have an LP of it being read aloud (not by Twain). Possibly the peak of fart jokes.

I will have to go read this!

My fave Twain book remains Letter From the Earth. Should be mandatory reading, esp now.

Twins certainly was a cranky bastard. His book Letters from Earth is a must-read as well

I had just picked that up from a used book store recently. Had never heard of it before and it’s a good read.

Probably my favorite posthumous collection, although case can easily be made for "Devil's Racetrack" (best of "Fables of Man" & "Which Was The Dream," "Weapons of Satire," or "Damned Human Race."

Honestly, king

My two biggest American heroes are Abraham Lincoln and Mark Twain - and I wholeheartedly concur with his ambivalence re: July 4.

Sam was an ornery cuss. I love him for that, besides all the wonderful stories.

You're leaving out the fact that Mark Twain was also a confederate and he died in 1910. So why should I fucking care what he thinks?

Because you just misrepresented the man Clemens was. If you actually read the history, he was in the Confederate Army for two weeks, and then got out. Then he gently used his friendship with Ulysses Grant to encourage the President to write his memoirs, providing for his family.

Yeah, that's what a total Confederate would do. Sure. Now get out of here, you lying-by-omission ratbag, who fucking cares what YOU think?

God damn dude sorry I was wrong. Jesus Christ why are you so fucking hostile?

For like a week and then he financially rescued the dying Grant when he was grown

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