Malice Walker: Characters in novels are always pressing their palms flat against tables and desks.

Characters in novels are always pressing their palms flat against tables and desks.

I had a friend who kept a list of things people do in movies that make you look unstable in real life This was on there, as is facing away from your office door, looking out the window when someone walks in

Exactly. Pressing your face against a wall for its coolness, going into the bathroom and splashing water on your face to calm yourself down, etc. — these are not normal human behaviors in real life. I like the idea of keeping a running list though.

Have you heard that Paul F bit about splashing water on your face in a horror movie? Classic.

Wow every one of these things was right in Kendall Roy’s wheelhouse. Truly he was our brave Totally Normal Boy.

Nobody wraps Christmas presents like they do in movies.

Pouring an enormous bowl of cereal.

Unfortunately I have been known to do this, especially the younger / lazier versions of myself. But pouring a huge bowl of cereal or making a giant breakfast and then running out the door and not eating it? Never ever.

Yeah well, the not eating of it was implied. Happened a lot I our people’s art.

In

Answering the phone

You pick it up, say nothing, and the person on the other end just starts talking

After they hang up you hear a dial tone

Maybe this just means most writers never know what to do with their hands (it's me I'm writers)

Okay, this is relatable. Maybe if folks appended that bit to the original descriptive phrase it’d ring truer to me.

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