Jess Whitehead

@jessewhitehead.bsky.social

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Actor, director, comedian, podcaster, caregiver, bon vivant, raconteur, panhandler. Genderfluid, She/her

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The president’s son smoked narcotics while inside a sensory deprivation tank, which I must admit, is the most metal fucking thing I can imagine. To do that *and* fuck your dead brother’s wife? This Hunter Biden fella sounds pretty cool.

My top five movies of the year so far in no particular order expressed as scenes from American Dad: A thread

Tired: Die Hard is a Christmas movie Wired: Die Hard 2 is also a Christmas movie Inspired: Die Hard With A Vengeance is an Arbor Day movie

Based on true events that just happened in my living room

It’s (one of) the movie(s) David Zaslav doesn’t want you to see.

I remember my mom would read this to me all the time and I would insist she do the Gandolfini voice.

After she won her first Oscar, Emma Stone made two Yorgos Lanthimos movies and The Curse with Nathan Fielder. Now that she has two Oscar wins, get ready for her to start making the weirdest shit ever. I can’t wait.

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I literally cannot keep tabs on what these earwigs think woke means on an hour to hour basis

It’s a good thing we had Barry Keoghan around as a backup Ezra Miller in case the original started malfunctioning.

I’m rewatching She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power and one thing that really stands out to me now is that as a boss, Hordak is tough but fair. Sure, his primary objectives are evil but honestly, I’ve had worse managers.

Doing a Rick & Morty rewatch and this exchange between Rick and Birdperson is some of my favorite dialogue ever.

I feel a severe cognitive dissonance whenever I see BuzzFeed headlines lumped in with actual news.

I was deeply saddened to hear of the death of Piper Laurie and I hope that Sissy Spacek will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

It’s so weird to look at them now and think that Ferris was supposed to be the cool one and Cameron was supposed to be the dork.

One of my favorite parts of But I’m A Cheerleader is the adorable gay couple played by Bull from Night Court and I Think He Stole That Guy’s Wallet from Back To The Future Part II.

Using this week’s episode of Scott Hasn’t Seen to rewatch my most favorite queer movie of all time. Seeing a romcom about Natasha Lyonne and Clea Duvall hooking up at conversion camp was very influential on 16-year-old Jesse.

It’s so weird to me that Susan Harris wrote pretty much all of Soap and created The Golden Girls, two incredibly progressive shows for their time, and her son Sam Harris grows up to be an intellectual fraud and a virulent racist.

I’m really looking forward to seeing Aurora’s Sunrise. It’s an animated documentary about the Armenian Genocide. It’s got rave reviews from every outlet. Except from The Young Turks for some reason.

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I do not think this batch of young people will forgive the New York Times for what they're doing to their trans friends, and I don't think they should. They're playing a very dangerous game with this bullshit.

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This excerpt from an article written for The Atlantic by a woman we apparently bullied off Bluesky is absolutely hilarious.

Most TikTok videos are just rehashing the kinds of things Letterman was doing on Late Night forty years ago.

When you definitely understood the point of Nolan’s Oppenheimer.

Idea for a movie: A man uproots his life and moves to Los Angeles so that he can visit Cinefile Video and watch their bootleg original musical cut of James L. Brooks’ I’ll Do Anything.

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Whaddya know: That Kansas newspaper bizarrely raided by the cops was investigating allegations of sexual misconduct by the chief of police. https://thehandbasket.substack.com/p/a-conversation-with-the-newspaper

A conversation with the newspaper owner raided by copsthehandbasket.substack.com Eric Meyer says his paper had been investigating the police chief prior to the raids on his office and home.

Best vocal casting ever was when Thrilling Adventure Hour cast James Urbaniak as Nikola Tesla and he did his David Bowie voice instead of an Austrian accent.

To Live and Die in L.A. is a Christmas movie!

He is remarkably bad at media analysis. It’s genuinely astonishing. He blathered for 45 minutes and never once came close to being accurate about anything.

@marcbernardin.bsky.social I somehow missed the update with the Splinter link until today. Just an incredible short. Well done, sir. And what a cast! I freaked out when Todd Stashwick showed up. And he didn’t even have any lines! I can’t wait to see what you do next.

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There's always at least a 30% chance of finding out that your favorite science fun fact is something first discovered by Dr. Otto Von Racism during an attempt to make children more flammable.