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the Supreme Court’s jurisprudence on corruption is basically at a point where the only thing that counts as a bribe is someone handing a public official a giant bag of money with a dollar sign on it while saying “this is a bribe” out loud
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it’s not just that, e.g., Clarence Thomas loves to be bribed. the conservatives really believe that spoils rightfully accrue to the powerful, and that exchanges of money and power are a natural and just part of politics
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“Bribery is protected political speech under the first amendment” — Clarence Thomas, writing from his patron’s yacht
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"Also it doesn't count as assault if she has great gams"