being a pet seems like such a good deal, if it’s in yr nature. garrus spent most of his day napping at the top of his cat tree, and now he’s sleeping with his hands tucked under my butt for warmth. my dude literally doesn’t know strife
me, deescalating conflict between my haters and myself in front of my friends: no, it’s cool; my bumper sticker DOES say “cowboys’ butts drive me nuts”. he was just affirming me by repeating it.
help im mildly sad because garrus is biologically-incapable of understanding what a mug of warm oatmeal can *feel* like
it’s not the healthiest food on the planet for me and my cool disease, but sometimes i NEED it.
me: it has that guy. that guy! he’s mincing and his name is “kevin” or something?
he’s MINCING. that’s, like, code for gay. ralph????
my mom, becoming a noted homophobe in this moment: …do you mean ray fines?
i handed my mom my college diploma a week or two ago, and that move is still paying dividends
she has no idea what to do with it. and for the record, what *i* did with it (the physical piece of card stock) was keep it inside the mailer until i could unload it onto my mom
“so, wait. the person who wrote ‘the neon demon’ is MARRIED TO the person who wrote the ‘spaghetti’ episode of rick and morty????”
the get played podcast is good, actually
we’ve hit the point in my mom watching grey’s anatomy where i am being served mobile ads for services that will help me stand out in residency matching
i can’t explain what i mean by this, but:
all of the women who had cute bobs during the first 18 seasons of grey’s anatomy switching to long, braided hair in the 24hrs i didn’t check in on grey’s anatomy was -phobic.
i want to post a hot take, but all of my takes are good and/or normal =[
okay. here it goes:
big daddy (1999) was an early, positive and healthy mainstream depiction of child-led parenting
MY CONTACT LENSES LANDED IN LOS ANGELES, WOOO!!!!!
the company, in singapore, doesn’t stock inventory on non-cosmetic prescription lenses (they make/specialize in cosmetic prescription lenses). so the page DID warn me that my acuvue oasys lenses would take 2 to 3 additional weeks to ship
remember that time dick cheney shot a guy in the face on a hunting trip and the guy had to bring his entire family out and say “i apologize profusely for the harm i have caused the vice president, by becoming shot in the face by him”?
i’ve run the math. there isn’t a way to make this less funny.
my mom wanted sleep gummies after i brought back her favorite chinese food, and i can’t say for sure why the dispensary was having a 50% off sale on EVERYTHING tonight but i like to think i know why
anyway kiva has a sleep-specific terra bite out now, and the center is a cookie. 10/10
okay. while i think the practical value add of this might be nothing or even negative, people know about hotlines and also tend to know they are MASSIVELY understaffed, i DO understand where i personally went wrong here
having panic attacks is so embarrassing. it’s like, sorry can you give me a sec? my brain is telling me that i’m going to die
are you going to die?
…it comes for us all one day, dunnit? but no, hopefully not on the timeline my brain is currently claiming
