Shane!

@lordturnip.bsky.social

Followers

142

Following

451

Posts

Let's tear it all down and start over already!

Posts Replies Media

Reposted by

Shane!

Wrath is stored in the grapes

I finish every signature with a question mark and I've yet to be arrested

I may be physically in the office, but my spirit is at home playing Balatro.

If you thought about becoming president and committed a crime, is it really a crime?

We want candidates that, if they were seated on the floor, could get up without using their arms.

If Sunday really is a day of rest how did I end up with so many flipping chores?

I'm so full of microplastics that when I get excited I basically turn into a hot glue gun

drinking ice coffee like it's the elixir of life

💙📚9th Read of 2024: A House With Good Bones - T. Kingfisher A refreshing mix of horror and humour. She always writes entertaining characters.

Biden pulls out pistol during second debate and blows out both of Trump's kneecaps. Looks into camera, "that's presidential immunity, baby."

I didn't watch the #debate but I have a good imagination and I can imagine how disheartening it was.

Reposted by

Shane!

Okay so to be clear we are destroying power grids, the livelihoods of actual humans beings, and communication/research infrastructure for the sake of an algorithm that converts stolen data into unreliable stolen data and consistently loses millions of dollars. Just to be clear

I hope Biden continually refers to Trump as "my heavily convicted opponent"

the only thing that's going to get me through today is my limitless contempt for work

Toronto transit is trying this neat thing this summer where they run buses without any A/C so it's like riding in a greenhouse that's growing misery

Me: oh no. i just lost the game! (The game was connect four)

GOD: and so, I give mankind free will. me: *gasp* so I can covet as much as my heart desires?? GOD: ok look, hang on.

Reposted by

Shane!

One of the worst ways to get stabbed is repeatedly

Reposted by

Shane!

When someone's email signature is "Gratefully," I think wow there is just the sweetest angel on the other end of this computer.

If you use a cursive font for work emails I immediately lose all respect for you.

Like the rest of you, I was done with this week days ago.

So Canada is playing Argentina in the opening game of 2024 Copa América, and all I can do is pray that we won't be utterly obliterated.

Work bbq today. Heat warning in effect. Can't wait to eat a mediocre hamburger near a sizzling parking lot.

Reposted by

Shane!

Someone on Reddit shared these photos of an off-brand Big Bird hired to do their birthday in the 90s and I am, as they say, gagged. www.reddit.com/r/90s/s/fUgT...

it's too hot and sticky to be working. pass it on

We've fully entered cold brew season

*Ian, clinging to stage* FLY, YOU FOOLS!

Ian McKellen has been hospitalized after falling off stage during a performance in London

Ian McKellen in hospital after falling off stage during Player Kings showwww.theguardian.com Audience evacuated from Noël Coward theatre in London’s West End after actor falls off front of stage in battle scene

Before bottled water was a thing people had to mix in a spoonful of microplastics themselves to achieve the great taste we know today.

I'm having AI write all my posts now and apparently you can whiten your teeth by gargling bleach.

Ah, the classic avocado 'Looks Ripe But Totally Isn't Trick'. We meet again.