weeder

@weeder.bsky.social

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When the going gets tough, the tough get growing

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If you're not launching Bubba Thumps & Horn Dogs right now maybe you shouldn't even live on my street

Hitting the "nardo" super hard when I tell people the brand of my new linen shorts

I always cut the plastic soda rings for sea turtles even though they probably wouldn't give me the time of day.

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weeder

(emerging from a bog) am i good enough

Babe is something right, you haven't touched your despairagus?

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weeder

no bird is early. no bird is late. birds experience time in a way that you will not understand until this world is built anew. until we are free

Not Particularly Revelatory

holy shit did people know this????

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weeder

cat food was invented by John Fancyfeast

Clutching a 32oz jar of psychedelic mushrooms and selecting VRBO's "estate" filter

I have once again located the two wet eggs

Weaving through a crowded QuikTrip like a snake looking for the little clear bags of two wet peeled hard boiled eggs

Grateful to Hobbits for illustrating that the urge to stay home is perhaps the most heroic trait one can possess

It's safe for me to use the internet because I'm already very confused but everyone else should stop ASAP

Presto. It's really too bad I can't share with bsky since I don't know anyone else. I've still got a lot of Thai and holy that needs to be harvested next week. Not sure what the conventional wisdom is on making pesto with it? 🍽️

Should be finished making pesto around July 7th

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weeder

I think I’m going to start not texting my parents instead of not calling them.

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weeder

Today’s Weird Saturday

In hindsight, my ex got way too into Tom Petty's "Don't Come Around Here No More" that last year

Please don't punch down in your posts. For reference, I am right below you. Please stop punching me.

I would have walked out of Abbott and Costello doing Who's on First.

Little is publicly known about the billionaire investor's evil twin Dark Cuban

I hate to see you go but I love to objectify you as you leave, wait that's not it

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weeder

was going to eat a cheese stick or two but today I think I’ll eat a few bottle rockets

Should be finished making pesto around July 7th

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weeder

Anyone notice that the structures of our lives need to be completely reorganized

Using the sun reflection off my phone to signal other drivers at this stoplight that I am incredibly annoying

Wait, you're actually not entertained? I'm sorry, I will gladiate harder next time

Finding ways to casually mention shooting 120 frames per second around my cousin's still photographer husband

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weeder

look at this boy. look at my guy. he's a little blessing 11/10 cat

I see you earned your Dickhead Merit Badge

"Is 'end of year' hyphenated?" I ask the machine god, my mortality swirling like sand in an hourglass

You support the troops? What time did you get up today "oh seven hundred" 🙄