Robert Holland

@rholland-again.bsky.social

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oh, bother

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Vlad, The Most Interesting Vampire in Marketing: I don't alvays drink blud, but when I do, I prefer Dos Neckies.

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Robert Holland

[alphabet committee] boss: okay what comes after V designer: two Vs kissing boss: what designer: then two Vs doing it boss: wait designer: then a V with a huge dong boss: designer: two Vs 69ing

When you offer the best treats on your street and no one rings your bell, that's Toblerlonely.

Software fail with @rokuplayer? Locked on @netflix but playing The Sandman over The Witcher. Nothing to do but open a jar of dills, sit back and enjoy The Sandwitcher.

[interviewer] You say you survived 2 years of pandemic by hoarding? How did you make money doing that? [candidate] Um, tell me what your medical plan covers, again?

All is not lost, Jimmy. We'll always remember the Guinea worm.

With this news, Jimmy Carter must be rolling in his too soon.

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Robert Holland

ME: (falling to my death in an elevator shaft) lol shaft

The Spanish know how to rank their vegetables and that is why I often order the esteemed broccoli.

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Robert Holland

Taught my friend that beard guys have a secret beard handshake. It's just touching beards and yes the lips kiss too but it's about the beard.

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Robert Holland

Reply to

blaine capatch

goddammit (36/36)

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Robert Holland

WAITER: is something wrong with your eggs MARIO: eggs benedict WAITER: what LUIGI: someone fucked his eggs

End of feed.