Plug McSassy

@sj.gg

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refuses to wear edible disguises
endorsements ≠ endorsements
he/him/that one

check out my website

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keep on accidentally washing my soul in the laundry

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I'm 2 hours into a diet, and i’m crawling on the floor asking people why i can’t see

*guy who gets off on people recommending goats* Gee, there sure are a lot of BLACKBERRY VINES in my yard!

thinking about sending my son to that halfway house for spooky children

just sitting here, slowly realizing, my face is COVERED in honey

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THE SCOOBY-DOO GANG: let’s see who you really are [removes the rocks that she got] it’s Jenny from the block

i appreciate when the video game place makes the best of what they have

DO NOT BLOCK THE SONIC DRIVEWAY

hahaha sounds like he asked someone out in front of the class or something

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Me: I grew up in the South so yardwork in this weather is fine Judge in the Heat Stroke Court I'm hallucinating: Case dismissed baby

starting a conspiracy theory that there are microchips in the tinfoil

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tip for anyone who reads my posts: just assume i already know everything, you Encyclopedia Brittanica dorkass

excited for D to get involved in the conspiracies about his own shooter at-er

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Next FromSoft game to feature "bigger, worse guys" on "tinier, sicklier horses" This company knows what the people want

me, an adult contemporary radio DJ in 1998: *puts on Dirty Dancing record* welp, another hard days work complete

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"It's also a metaphor for depression"

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The chili so nice, you'll spoon it in your mouth!

silly Toodles finished sniffing the plants in the entryway and is now curled up on the stairs softly farting (Toodles is my dad)

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Cop: know why I pulled you over? - because my skeet got ten likes? Cop [pulls out phone]: make that eleven

Oop! pfffffffffffff... i've been hating the sinner and loving the sin this whole time. 🤭

it's only a matter of time before one of these Not-A-Toy plastic bags takes me out. they just look Too Fun

i work at the sock factory, and my job is to add that loose string that gets stuck between your toes

today is a great day to make a major life mistake

are there any wiccans on here who would be willing to come over and scare my dad??

post em alone

dock of dre

they should make a lego that feels nice to step on

had to go out for a bit, so i fed the cat early, about 1/2 his dinner. i just got back to feed him the rest, so i was like "food?" and he DIDN'T BELIEVE ME the cat didn't believe i was feeding him again. he did a triple take when i opened the food box.

my brother and his wife are being harassed by the LAPD, so if you have a bunch of money lying around and want to stick it to them, here's your chance gofund.me/82e5f87d

Help Luna Wilson Thrive Despite Injustice, organized by Ashley Ruffinigofund.me Hello, this is Aaron & Ashley, the parents of our as of now 18 month old daug… Ashley Ruffini needs your support for Help Luna Wilson Thrive Despite Injustice