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d.ly

@dly.bsky.social

writer sometimes. clown always. she/her.

my intrusive thoughts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajln42r6efw
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[walks into restaurant kitchen to see a shrimp frying rice] the prophecy…
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They're buttering your corn on summersky
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Sorry for being annoying as hell, you guys
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if i'm not coughing up blood at the end of my massage, i ain't payin'
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during the summer, ACAB stands for All Corns Are Buttered
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I need my pressure points stabbed and it’s urgent
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group therapy where we discuss our problems using only Motörhead lyrics call it Lemmy for your thoughts
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When I refer to myself as a ‘stallion,’ I just mean that if you give me peanut butter, I’ll probably talk to you
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happy sunday weirdos, it’s gonna be a great day ☀️🔥
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Just burned an extra 150 calories running outside to see if the ice cream truck was still there.
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Old men be like “what kinda work do you do son” and it’s like I dunno the shitty kind gramps
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[on first date] so… how many hotdogs can you eat in one sitting?
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When I get to hell someday, I hope I get a nice set of horns.
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Slapping her tushy and saying "get along little doggy"
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I am an enigma wrapped in microplastics covered in blankets.
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Extreme facesitting for Jesus.
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[walks into restaurant kitchen to see a shrimp frying rice] the prophecy…
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the labia is the swinging saloon door to the soul
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Not a lot to look forward to other than new and inventive preparations of potato
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while everyone busy playing this bot duel thing i’m picking their pockets
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new post interaction buttons ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ reply like repost wtf
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Like Rumspringa, but it’s just me taking time off to see how many Costco sheet cakes I can eat in a week.
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you know who else “got crucified” by the “woke mob” just for being one of the good guys?
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*towering over you* what did you say about the fluffiness of my pancakes?
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“the clapper” was an important breakthrough in nana technology thank you for your patronage this is the one outlet keeping me from being an arsonist
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blocks lists and labels haven’t melted enough people’s brains bluesky introduce public downvotes you cowards