d.ly

@dly.bsky.social

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writer sometimes. clown always. she/her.

my intrusive thoughts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajln42r6efw

Posts Replies Media

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d.ly

[walks into restaurant kitchen to see a shrimp frying rice] the prophecy…

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d.ly

Reply to

d.ly

They're buttering your corn on summersky

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d.ly

Sorry for being annoying as hell, you guys

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d.ly

if i'm not coughing up blood at the end of my massage, i ain't payin'

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d.ly

during the summer, ACAB stands for All Corns Are Buttered

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d.ly

I need my pressure points stabbed and it’s urgent

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d.ly

group therapy where we discuss our problems using only Motörhead lyrics call it Lemmy for your thoughts

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d.ly

When I refer to myself as a ‘stallion,’ I just mean that if you give me peanut butter, I’ll probably talk to you

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d.ly

happy sunday weirdos, it’s gonna be a great day ☀️🔥

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d.ly

Trying

get fucked, nerds!

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d.ly

Just burned an extra 150 calories running outside to see if the ice cream truck was still there.

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d.ly

Old men be like “what kinda work do you do son” and it’s like I dunno the shitty kind gramps

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d.ly

[on first date] so… how many hotdogs can you eat in one sitting?

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d.ly

When I get to hell someday, I hope I get a nice set of horns.

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d.ly

Reply to

slacey AKA MC Griddle

Slapping her tushy and saying "get along little doggy"

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d.ly

I am an enigma wrapped in microplastics covered in blankets.

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d.ly

constipation is poop fasting

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d.ly

Extreme facesitting for Jesus.

[walks into restaurant kitchen to see a shrimp frying rice] the prophecy…

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d.ly

the labia is the swinging saloon door to the soul

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d.ly

Hugs AND drugs

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d.ly

Not a lot to look forward to other than new and inventive preparations of potato

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d.ly

while everyone busy playing this bot duel thing i’m picking their pockets

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d.ly

Big labia energy or gtfoh.

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d.ly

new post interaction buttons ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ ⭕️ reply like repost wtf

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d.ly

Like Rumspringa, but it’s just me taking time off to see how many Costco sheet cakes I can eat in a week.

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d.ly

you know who else “got crucified” by the “woke mob” just for being one of the good guys?

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d.ly

*towering over you* what did you say about the fluffiness of my pancakes?

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d.ly

“the clapper” was an important breakthrough in nana technology thank you for your patronage this is the one outlet keeping me from being an arsonist

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d.ly

blocks lists and labels haven’t melted enough people’s brains bluesky introduce public downvotes you cowards