The Onion: — Subium • Bluesky web client

Mechanical-Armed Grimes Flees Elon Musk Compound With Five Wives In Stolen Cybertruckwww.theonion.com CHIHUAHUAN DESERT, TX—Tearing through the desert wasteland with a fleet of self-driving Tesla Model 3s in pursuit, a mechanical-armed Grimes reportedly fled Elon Musk’s compound Friday with five of th...

I've got to say, this is totally unrealistic. CyberTruck would be stuck the second it tried to go up that slight hill.

and here i was thinking the unrealistic bit was being able to fit grimes and five wives in the same cybertruck

No way the mechanical arm doesn't crush the poorly-made steering wheel.

Oh, now I'm wondering if the right question can make Google AI regurgitate Onion Musk stories.

It was the top result when I searched for "news about Grimes and Elon Musk," so that's a start!

Unfortunately for her, it would get stuck in the dirt about 27 yards past the gatehouse

This is quality work but I think you should have tied in the time she tried to sale down the Mississippi to bring this joke full circle.

“Dull and matte!”

The most fantastical thing is the cybertruck working

Please go full Larry Flint Jerry Falwell on him

This article does a god job of reminding sane humans it’s not just about the flashing neon star at the top of the tree.

I have a feeling, for at least the next little while, part of what is influencing your articles is that now you know Google Search thinks they are real-life. Fucking godspeed on that, live the dream.

She did, in fact, escape.

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