William Lafi Youmans: The Onion is singlehandedly keeping me sane.

The Onion is singlehandedly keeping me sane.

www.theonion.com/u-s-warns-a-...

U.S. Warns A Gaza Ceasefire Would Only Benefit Humanitywww.theonion.com WASHINGTON—Explaining why the United States would not call on Israel to end its continuous airstrikes on Palestinian civilians, the White House warned Wednesday that a ceasefire in Gaza would only s...

I mean, he said literally the opposite in a speech today, but ok.

tell me you dont know avout the onion without telling me you dont know about the onion

Oh I'm aware that the onion has decided to join the Babylon Bee for quite some time now.

Do you need me to read my post out loud for you?

I'm not sure verbalizing nonsense makes it any more coherent.

And yesterday, directly to Israelis, owning America's mistakes after 911, and seemingly in private to Netanyahu

He said some nice words today, sure, but coupled it with a request for supplies to kill more Palestinians, so it rings a little hollow. Israel doesn't need our money, proper anti-terror operations require more time than money. Ukraine on the other hand is facing existential threat, very different.

(And yes I know Hamas *wants* to wipe out Israel, but they have absolutely no power to do it so that should hardly be taken at face value in a comparison.)

If they have no power to do it, then why were they able to bomb and capture so many Israelis?

What are you talking about? There's three orders of magnitude difference in scale between the two objectives. Do you really think Hamas could pull off an attack 1000x as large? Just because the IDF was embarrassingly afk doing apartheid instead of their jobs doesn't make Hamas all-powerful.

Right, so genocidal rhetoric is fine so long as you can justify an unfalsifiable claim about not being able to accomplish it. Of course, if they *did* then actually accomplish it...well...I guess it's too late then, right?

Defense supplies != "Kill more Palestinians"

Please provide me with an example of a legitimate *defensive* usage of 155mm high explosive shells when you are not preventing an attacking enemy from crossing a no-man's-land.

I gotta say I am appreciating the restraint from the Dem norm coming from his administration

Wish they hadn’t cultivated the cool Biden meme that got us to think of him as harmless

Great point. It’s like the RBG memes in a way. Both figures caused great damage to liberal America.

Parody is the new journalism because journalism is the new parody.

Same

Honestly the edibles and my GFs are the only things keeping me sand

sane* shut up

You forgot to mentiom they stand with Israel, no matter what. www.theonion.com/the-onion-st...

‘The Onion’ Stands With Israel Because It Seems Like You Get In Less Trouble For Thatwww.theonion.com The past week has shown humanity at its worst: A horrific terrorist attack left at least 1,300 Israelis dead, among them peace activists and even innocent children. The fates of many more kidnapped ...

I started with the Onion as a college student at UW Madison

“Sir, we’re picking up a spike in the target’s satire levels! It’s passed ‘political commentary’!” “My God! You don’t mean…?” “That’s right, sir. We may soon be dealing with… Actual Reporting.”

The Onion has been consistently putting out absolute bangers for how long now? Absolutely perfect, no notes.

I think they feel really guilty for making Biden seem like an okay guy for a decade as a bit

It speaks more truth than mainstream media.

They've been knocking it out of the park over the last couple weeks

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