Annoyed O’Brien: This is Coach Gowron. My feed seems to be coming out of O’Brien’s comms, as his feed is coming out of mine. I have faith that he will fix this swiftly, because I’ve seen his plungelogical work so comms should be nothing for a warrior such as him! In the meantime, dodgeball practice is still at 0700!

This is Coach Gowron. My feed seems to be coming out of O’Brien’s comms, as his feed is coming out of mine. I have faith that he will fix this swiftly, because I’ve seen his plungelogical work so comms should be nothing for a warrior such as him! In the meantime, dodgeball practice is still at 0700!

Wait, this is strange. I'm getting private messages from Keiko on YOUR comm link, Coach. They appear to be in some kind of code. Boy, the comms are more messed up than I thought!

Yes. Those are messages we exchange as homework for my my “Learning To Love Like A True Warrior” course. Do not let them trouble you, Chief. Your wife wants nothing more than to be a passionate lover and also for you to sign up for my class. I’ll fax you a few voucher.

Your faxing is what got us into this mess! But I would appreciate the voucher. I love my wife!

Yes we all know, Chief. But she came to me, asking for guidance. She wishes for you to……loosen up in your lovemaking. There is no shame in it! Come and I’ll teach you how to be a love warrior!!

Well, it can't be any worse than the course Morn taught. I never did get the hang of his signature move.

The Barstool? Yes, much more complicated than it appears at first glance, to be sure. Brad tried it and was in the infirmary for a month.

Wait, we need vouchers? I've just been showing up.

Hey @replicatorunit.bsky.social , can you launch a Klingon dodgeball to coach(?)'s location ASAP? The data's required to help calibrate station systems to determine which ones are being affected.

*replicates a dodge ball in a taut slingshot. The slingshot is released, and the ball soars towards @coachgowron.bsky.social 's elbow*

AAAARGH MY SHOULDER!

A true warrior never admits their injuries during battle Chief!! Remember your training!!

You're right, I need to stay strong and solve this problem with Starfleet grit and determination. DID YOU JUST THROW ANOTHER DODGEBALL AT ME?

Was that @annoyedobrien.bsky.social I hit? I'm sure I aimed at Coach. 🤔

He dodged! He's good at that! And it hit me!

Okay, so it looks like it's not just a comm system issue but also affecting other station systems in terms of flagging you as being the Coach, Chief. Be _very_ glad this isn't Tuesday Tuesday Coach has a shuttlecraft combat exercise scheduled and we don't need something locking on through the hull

Someone threw a plunger at me while I slept on a shuttle.

I AM NOT A PLUMBER!

Now Chief, there’s no need to be modest. You’re at least the third best plumber in Starfleet!

I AM NOT A PLUMBER!!! But who... who are the other two?

That’s an interesting tale. Number two is Worf, there is no clog that can best him. But somehow number one is Brad. I’m assuming it’s a clerical error because he’s currently stuck in a toilet as we speak.

Sigh. I'll put him on my job schedule. I'm going to need the big novelty plunger for that one.

Surprisingly it's not. The secret is that after he gets stuck you feed him about a kilo and a half of sour kraut, wait about half an hour, and then let Newton's third law take care of both the clog and freeing Brad.

Don't let it go to your head, Brad! I've been in this porta-potty for the past ten minutes! I think it's in the Promenade.

Last week you yelled 'If you can dodge an Ensign you can dodge a ball!' and I don't think you're a Starfleet officer either. Also, in related news, we can't find Ensign Brad.

THAT WASN'T ME! THAT WAS COACH!

Am I Ensign Brad? Help, get me out of the ventilation system! Why didn't that confused civilian help?

I'm enjoying this buddy cop story.

Coach, I can't - uh, if this is Coach - make it! Willie says I have to help clean up all the damage in the Tanner home which seems to have mysteriously manifested last night. At least, that's what I'm going with... manifested. Very mysteriously.

A true warrior does not make excuses.

A true warrior doesn't want to spend the next month locked in Willie's attic.

A true warrior destroys Willie’s attic with the might of a thousand fists!!!!!

Hmm... all right, but Willie won't give me a ride. And you know what happened when I walked last time. I got blisters.

Coach we need this more often we could use your encouragement every so often here O’Brien keeps breaking things and getting upset I hear more …crackle… damnit chief! I’m trying to be encoura…. Snap buzz

I heard he likes toast.

If you can dodge a mek'leth, you can dodge a ball, huh Coach?

Exactly Phillip.

Post