For Slate today I wrote about the urgency and importance of seeing Nex's transmasculinity at a time when all the mainstream seems to speak about are "lost daughters" and "troubled girls.
Nex Benedict was transmasculine. Like me. Please. Let him be visible now that he's dead.
I am a mom of a trans guy. And I know others - they definitely seem to not be as much part of the conversation though given the conversation maybe that is just as well…
Don't forget that Nex was also Choctaw Native mourned by both the Choctaw and Cherokee nations. His death shows the intersection of trans and Native identity, and the danger that comes with them
The coverup of the crime is ongoing. HE was damaged by being beat up. But they’re saying natural causes. Well then I guess bullying and violence is a “natural cause”.
I know so many kids like Nex, using they/them with family and another name or pronouns with friends (or vice versa). Just because it's not (yet) uniform in all situations with all people doesn't make it any less real. I'm so fucking angry he didn't get to grow into his adult self.
I'm sorry, that sucks. It's one thing to be in flux and figuring things out as a young teen, and another entirely for people to purposefully misgender someone. I wish I could convey to other parents how much more than a shitty power play that is and how much they're hurting their kids. 💜💜
I'm 58, my 90 year old father uses "he."
Weirdly, I heard him say to a neighbor once "he's trans."
(He's been told repeatedly by my sibs. They use "her/she" when speaking to him, referring to me.)
I suppose it's more than you would expect from someone who watches Matt Walsh etc. every day.
It means a lot that there was an observation of the way Nex carried himself, as a means of honoring his memory.
The point about the disconnect between one's self-perception vs. what others subconsciously gravitate more, was a rather important one, and it stays with me. Frustrating experience.
Thank you for this. 💜💜 I have nothing eloquent to say to people who want to continue to misgender Nex in death, and all trans people in life, and "you're a piece of shit" doesn't exactly add to the conversation. I am still so angry.
This is beautifully written and so important. Thank you for putting this out into the world. This is a personal tragedy for Nex and his loved ones, and a community tragedy that our society is so determined to punish people for exploration and self-actualization.
That's based on old info. Reporting in NBC that spoke with Nex's friends showed that Nex used both they/them and he/him, but preferred he/him and used that with his friends.
Yeah, I know, I skimmed through to try to find something but I’m not that good at skimming and I wasn’t really in the mood to read the whole thing. Lesson learned.
