KAFUI. 🇬🇭: Refusing to have a baby until I can determine the funniest kind of doula. In the lead so far? Drunk doula.

Refusing to have a baby until I can determine the funniest kind of doula. In the lead so far? Drunk doula.

Old school rapper, calls himself Doula Soul

Yale-educated: Doola Doula

Dinesh D'oula

Our doula was studying to be a brain surgeon before changing career paths. My doula? Oblongata.

“It’s tricky to birth a child to birth a child is kind of wild. It’s tricky!”

Brings fire lines into this world?

Just me, fetus, and I.

Regular office job manager who calls himself a “work doula”

Hahahah

New title for HR.

We’re gonna germinate new ideas that will beget record profits!

I'd like to welcome you to Widdle Tech UwU. I'll be your work doula. Your work journey begins today at L'enfant. You'll see on our roadmap that one month in we expect you to reach Kinder, and after your retrospective with Daddy, you will be eligible for Bro status. Now for breathing exercises.

If you’ll wait right here, I’ll get you started with some paperwork. Please avail yourself of the complementary Montessori toys in our lobby!

Rachel Doulazal

Lollll

She's wearing the uniform of a custodian and you swear you just saw her change the toilet paper in the bathroom, but insists she identifies as a doula

Doula Lipa

Harlem Globetrotter Doula could also be good.

The whistling 😭

And then the dribbling!

read this first as harlem globetrotters dracula

as soon as i figure out how to make this into a joke its over

Harlem Globetrotters Dracula Dead Hoosiers ?

So.. a clown doula?

The globetrotters were not clowns, though I do see the clown-adjacent logic.

Doula on her last day before retirement, a la Lethal Weapon

Lmaooo

Lol, I absolutely hear this doula look into the camera and say, “I’m gettin’ too old for this shit”

Extreme doula: insists the birth takes place while skydiving

Skydiving Christian doula

Doula doula, the doula that helps Mother Earth give birth to doulas from its cavernous vulva.

You had me at cavernous vagina.

THE DOULA (1971, dir. Steven Spielberg)

👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿🫡

Cool gossip aunt doula. She can't help but spill tea.

Labor is a long process, and I actually DO want to know what happened with her coworkers polycule while I’m dilating, love this.

Would mix well with drunk doula! She could tease you with your favorite mixed drink as a reward.

Manic Pixie Dream Doula!

Hahahaha

Basically had this for both of my wife’s deliveries, although she also had significant goth influences Tremendously good at her job, watching her interact with hospital staff was so entertaining I can provide a recommendation if anyone is in the Portland, OR area and looking

Portland’s a hell of a town

Portlandia was an ethnography of a civilization that basically evaporated overnight! A microcosm of the erratic and intriguing flux of developing white American subcultures simply vanished. The dream of the 90s may be alive in Portland, but it is, in fact, the 90s of the Balkans.

Solid post on its own!

Drag queen doula, because you can never get the gender parody started too early.

Funnnn 🎉

Mime!

Silent birth is a part of my plan because I’m a Scientologist, so this is a good choice actually!

oh my god that is not a scientology thing I knew about and I will admit to you I am reeling a little

Lolol yeah they’re like, you don’t need all that NOISE, ladies be screaming, am I right??

John Cage presents the miracle of birth

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