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the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 1 mo
one of the most charming things about human beings is that they need explainers like this, something literally no other creatures in the animal kingdom need at all
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Parker Molloy @parkermolloy.com · 1 mo
Not only that, but we'll get these explainers and still be like, "pft, I bet I could outrun one"
@tncowart.bsky.social · 1 mo
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Oh, the Inanity @jmcrowell.bsky.social · 1 mo
That attitude always amuses me because Usain Bolt's fastest speed (in the 60-80m interval) is 27.79 mph. There's no way Harvey Iwasahighschoolathlete doesn't get ragdolled.
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Fuzzy Mike @fuzzymike.bsky.social · 1 mo
it will let me pet it because animals can sense my kindness
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dutchtreat - F the NYT @dutchtreat.bsky.social · 1 mo
Who needs to outrun it when you can beat it?
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Maq @maqusan.bsky.social · 1 mo
[Casual Geographic voice]: “this furry F-150s got enough ground speed to set your Facebook page to memorial before you get 50 meters I don’t care if you lettered in track or not”
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Fergalicious Jeffinition @thethejeff.bsky.social · 1 mo
You don't have to be faster than the bison. Just faster than one of your friends.
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berserk @worstplace.bsky.social · 1 mo
The bison aren't trying to eat you, you definitely have to be faster than the bison
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Fergalicious Jeffinition @thethejeff.bsky.social · 1 mo
Maybe bison wouldn't eat *you*, but I'm different
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Bob Romashko @bobromashko.bsky.social · 1 mo
Are you… are you a sentient species of grass?
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Fergalicious Jeffinition @thethejeff.bsky.social · 1 mo
You think I'm just gonna open myself up to terminally online people demanding to touch me that easy?
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Joel 🍦 @polyparadigm.bsky.social · 1 mo
It’s an herbivore though.
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Fergalicious Jeffinition @thethejeff.bsky.social · 1 mo
Your face is an herbivore
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Kitty Vons @kittyvons.bsky.social · 1 mo
I get black bears. They'll run when humans get close unless there are cubs. I still don't get close. Law of averages is really on my side but why freak them out? Leave them alone. I do scare the foxes bc they're too comfortable w/me (dangerous for them). Bison F no. Average not on my side.
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justin @jurfo.bsky.social · 1 mo
I think I could take one in a fight. “The prick buffalo reportedly exhibited a shit attitude from the moment Salazar stepped out of his car and began touring the ranch, his provocations eventually leading the secretary to coldcock the herd animal.“
Secretary Of Interior Decks Smart-Ass Buffalowww.theonion.com LIMON, CO—Saying the 1,800-pound bovine had it coming, Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar decked a wise-ass bison during his recent visit to the Prairie Ridge Buffalo Farm, sources confirmed Saturd...