I am the world's greatest dom because I can bend even a printer to my will. They're scared of me.
One paper jam and I did something to the guts of my printer it has clearly never forgotten and won't act up since. It's currently still working despite having run out of black.
"I have discounted the limited edition chips, nobody likes that flavour and they're going a touch stale. Still no? You know the Corp disposes of waste into pristine wetlands? Oh, you'll have two? A fine choice."
One time in high school I was in photography class and we set the flash off at the dollar intake on the vending machine just fuckin around, and it spit a dollar out.
This is unrelated it was just a cool thing that happened.
If you listen closely it tells you which bag of chips it wants to keep for itself and won't let you get, you just need to consider the vending machines desires before you pick!
My conversations with vending machines are limited to “yay!” once I’ve successfully convinced it to dispense the item I wanted. Occasionally there is a muttered “who designed this thing?” but that is directed more at the world at large
i think these people realize they're fundamentally boring and incurious yet fail to acknowledge the hammering, incessant dullness of what they're prompting and spewing at others
