Funranium (AKA Phil Broughton): While a day without a DAMMIT PHIL is like a day I don't have the internet, I only get those from folks at the FDA about once a quarter. I regret to inform folks a new Broughton File has been started for Bullshit Ionizing Radiation Devices, separate from the Bullshit Laser Products one.

While a day without a DAMMIT PHIL is like a day I don't have the internet, I only get those from folks at the FDA about once a quarter. I regret to inform folks a new Broughton File has been started for Bullshit Ionizing Radiation Devices, separate from the Bullshit Laser Products one.

To be fair, this isn’t the first one I’ve encountered, which is bad and says a lot about my life, but it is the first one I need to ask the FDA about.

> FDA > ionizing radiation > bullshit device An alarming set of clues.

I recommend avoiding any spa treatments involving lasers or x-rays.

> spa treatments > X-rays Those things . . . do not belong together.

I had to work very hard not to laugh at the laser scorched butthole and taint from an unlicensed operator using an illegally imported laser hair remover at spa. But DEXA units are somewhat common and such places.

Phil why are spas doing bone scans

To show you that you are getting GAINZ from your sweet supplements (totes not steroids) and routine.

I Have Concerns even more now.

IN PARTICULAR, in America, avoid spas in Miami and Santa Monica.

Band joke

Graphic design is your passion. Thank you, this was a great thing to wake up to. My brand is incredibly strong.

I get more Mans Life cover vibes. Replace weasels ripped my flesh with lasers scorched my butthole.

I did not expect to read "laser scorched butthole and taint" today, but I did.

Welcome to the internet!

There are very few things I want aimed at my arse, other than admiring looks, and this sort of device has to be rocketing up the list.

Big like for "rocketing up," for obvious reasons.

I'm sure it's fine, the technician has their GED and a while twelve minutes of training!

wait wtaf

You did indeed read that.

This sounds even worse than butthole bleaching, which was a thing. Or the butthole tanning stuff

Those tend to not involve high powered lasers.

I am alarmed to learn that ablative laser facials are a thing.

. . . Performing a facial with a laser?! !!

🫣

This is absolutely a Tom Cardy song

You know, I would never have guessed that a laser safety expert could get a butthole story comparable to any ER doctor's butthole stories.

It's the '20s again, the 1920s!

Here at Therac Spa, we promise to almost certainly provide you with a safe and healthful experience!

Phil it alarms me that my first thought was "yeah I can see dipshits going X ray is good for you" instead of realizing that laser hair removal involves... lasers

Totally different bullshit at work. X-ray proves how swole you are. That the GAINZ are real.

I assumed it was a reversion to marketing from when X Ray was new and radium was hot, not brain-free Gym Bro stuff

I know many people who have had laser hair removal and none of us had it done at a *spa*! It's valuable therapy for many, but I would've thought it would be regulated. It certainly is over here in the UK.

A rash assumption was made elsewhere that it was a misused facial hair removal laser. Nope.

Yeah, turns out people are willing to do a lot of nasty things to themselves for vanity (whether it actually works, or not), and a lot of people are willing to facilitate that nastiness for money. We really are not used to being top of the food chain, and it shows.

I had some done once and I'm certain it is normally regulated here in the US, but if the place is also offering recreational x-rays, the whole vibe is of a business that does not care

"recreational x-rays" sounds like a punk/prog band

This is supremely cursed.

And very, very common. :(

People be wild out there.

BIRDs aren't real Phil.

🤣

Oh goody. I've been waiting for this for a while. Can we also have special mention on over the counter ozone generators with attached high power UV LEDs

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