Post

Deleted.
Avatar
I maintain that Boston drivers aren’t bad, they’re spiteful.
Avatar
they're very skilled and, more than that, extremely creative
Avatar
other drivers will ask "is that a lane" and look to lane markings or some such. Boston drivers will ask "COULD that be a lane" and answer "yes, fuck your lane markings"
Avatar
Other drivers: i should use my turn signals to communicate where i intend to go Boston drivers: you FOOL, all warfare is based on deception
Avatar
*BLINK* Once is happenstance. *BLINK* Twice is coincidence. *BLINK* Three times is enemy action!
Avatar
All driving is war by other means Now watch closely as i brake check this semi truck
Avatar
The supreme art of driving is to signal without turning.
Avatar
When you cut off a foe’s vehicle, leave an outlet free. Do not tailgate a desperate commuter too closely
Avatar
Zen and the Art of BAMA* Driving.” *Boston-Atlanta Metropolitan Axis.
Avatar
Deleted, I reversed what you said in my brain. It wasn’t funny anymore.
Avatar
But it led me to a funny, if obscure joke, so all is forgiven.
Avatar
when I drove a lot I developed an elaborate theory of how to manipulate other drivers to minimize my travel time and risk of citation based on the principles of ninjutsu. if only I was kidding about this. it was also an important part of the genesis of the ideas behind my company.
Avatar
Wait really? Im so curious, tell me more
Avatar
well ok so first: cops are looking for outliers, so you always want to be the second slowest car on the road. therefore, you should find a car that wants to go fast and goad them into going faster and faster trying to pass you, so you can always be slightly slower than them
Avatar
in order to do this you have to know what those other drivers want, which ones are desperate to pass you and can be goaded into accelerating ever faster even when that serves them no real purpose; thinking about that is how I realized that driving was primarily a theory of mind task
Avatar
I should say that writing this up right now I really feel very bad about it. I was trying to fit in with california car culture and also was young and stupid, I blame society.
Avatar
you can really figure out, with other drivers, what their theory of the road is. maybe they're just blasting through, but more often they have some cockamamie theory like "if I get in front of the cars I will get there sooner" or "if I have a car behind me cops can't see me"; it is obvious
Avatar
Avatar
it's called "chasing the bunny" you don't want to ever be the bunny kind of like the opposite of that joke about the bear
Avatar
Do you mean second fastest? I always waited for leadfoot drivers to take the lead and then followed them going 3-5 mph slower on the theory that what matters the most is how much the fastest car stands out from traffic
Avatar
Also, if they’re going faster than you, they close on the speed trap more quickly.
What do you mean by principles of ninjutsu?