Jill Twiss

@jilltwiss.bsky.social

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Comedy writer. "Last Week Tonight", "The Amber Ruffin Show." Author of "A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo" and "The Someone New." Friend to several penguins.

Posts Replies Media

Reply to

benhosp.bsky.social

THANK you

i don't engaged with the trolls, I'm engaged TO the trolls

Ah yes, Joe Biden, known for his famously friendly dogs

The only thing I have learned in the past 8 years is that somehow things are always bad in a DIFFERENT way than I thought they would be so no, I have no idea how this will affect the election

See? Was assuming a different kind of bad was a’comin but nope. This! https://www.nytimes.com/live/2024/07/15/us/trump-documents-case-dismissed/a-major-legal-threat-against-trump-is-dismissed-heres-the-latest?smid=url-share

A major legal threat against Trump is dismissed. Here’s the latest.www.nytimes.com

Reposted by

Jill Twiss

Our long national nightmare is over. variety.com/2024/tv/news...

‘Smash’ Is Now Streaming on Peacockvariety.com 'Smash,' NBC's Emmy-winning musical drama series starring Katharine McPhee and Megan Hilty, is now available to stream on Peacock.

WHAT

He is, in 4 million ways, the literal luckiest man alive

Nope!

Reply to

John Dellaporta

i think i somehow missed it! but i definitely remember the conspiracy theories and thinking "these people CANNOT keep a secret"

Reply to

Joad The Wet Sprocket

i don't even understand what this means but i like the sound of it?

Reply to

John Dellaporta

conspiracies, for me, have always come to "how good has this particular group historically been at intricate planning and keeping secrets?"

If you start a sentence with "I'm not a conspiracy person, but..." you are 100% about to be a conspiracy person

the perfect press conference to allow everyone to think exactly what they thought before the press conference

It is very funny that all of the politicians are like "we are encouraging the President to make his decision as soon as possible" and Biden is like I ALREADY MADE IT and they are like "yup, as soon as you can, buddy! make the decision!"

this answer would kill on the Miss Teen USA interview portion

I got rhythm. I got music. I got my man. Honestly, I can still think of like 200 more things to ask for.

Reply to

Seth Brower

apparently you have heard me sing

I shall sing them in a patter song

Reply to

Saeed Jones

it's such a weird, quirky delight in a very normal procedural package!

living in fear of the day I wake up and there is no dog on the Yoga with Adriene video

Reply to

William Leisner

Well now I’m down to negative one votes

no that is what the fourth round of the regional spelling bee is all aobut

Yes I do see the irony in the misspelling here

Look I know it's naive to want the most capable person in America to be the President. But it is wrong to want it to be, like, in the top 10,000?

I simultaneously feel like Biden should probably not be the Democratic nominee and also that parts of the media seem weirdly gleeful about it in a way that completely ignores the consequences of electing Trump again

I think I’d be great on a reality show reunion episode. No need to do the whole season. Just let me come back in and tell all those bitches what I thought of them.

Reply to

Schtick Jagger

Oh no they are gonna be picky???

Reply to

👻joy meads👻

i mean yes. that is the point. not...just a silly bit. ahem.

Um, just found out that for $75 I can put a plaque with anything I want written on it on a bench on Roosevelt Island for 20 years and I think $75 is exactly the amount I'm willing to spend on a good bit.