Jimmy Two Hands: 1860s people reading this diss track like “daaaaaaamn”

Happy confederate surrender day to all who celebrate

1860s people reading this diss track like “daaaaaaamn”

There’s some real heavy shade being thrown here and maybe half of it is lost to time, but it’s real clear they’re calling McClellan a jackass fuck and a wienerhead

"Hero of Munson Hill" is some fine shade if you look into it. (It was perceived to be a fearsome fortress within eyeshot of Washington, but when McClellan occupied it it turned out to be a decoy fort fitted with Quaker guns).

lmao wrecked

Quaker guns?

Logs painted black to look like cannons. McClellan was fooled by these a few times in the peninsula campaign because he was a big stupid dummy loser

Ah, I knew USian Quakers were different but I didn't think they were *that* different.

A fake cannon made by painting a cardboard container of oatmeal gray

He got Munson-ed!! 😂😂 giphy.com/gifs/woody-h...

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Fool could have ended it all at Antietam.

Holy smokes, I had never read the eulogy poem before, that's cold. Good.

“But like Lucifer in Hell.” Well, whistling the Battle Hymn of the Republic for the rest of the day

It’s blurry but I read that as “But like Lucifer it fell” (Lucifer being a fallen angel)

Yeah, that makes a lot more sense. Also folks around this time were pretty shy about using the word hell in print or around polite company

“In youth it lived and prospered well But like Lucifer in Hell” is a nice line too, tho

you are right, thank you! (the poem even avoids mentioning hell in the very next line)

The joke following it makes no sense if it says "Lucifer in Hell"

They definitely would not have used the word Hell that casually in printed matter in 1865.

yes, thank you!

"Died of a chronic attack of punch" oh snap

"Its body here, its soul in -- well..." is such a delightfully executed implication

It's like the whole Lincoln administration did a selfie with the Confederacy's headstone

They should have cut off its head and put a stake through its heart.

“Died of a chronic attack of punch” goes, as the kids say, hard

"A CHRONIC ATTACK OF PUNCH" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jeff Davis is cracking me up 😂

"its body here, its soul is --- well," that's Guru's cadence right there. Timeless.

"Your death is better than your life" gaaadayumm. Smacked down the traitors harder than at Antietam with that line

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