Jimmy Two Hands

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Jimmy Two Hands

@jimmytwohands.bsky.social

I make music and comics for my own amusement. A jimbo, not a himbo. He/him
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NYC doing what Chicago has done for years and pretending it’s a new thing and the best in the world, just like they did with pizza and bagels and Billy Joel
Eric Adams opened this morning’s press conference by rolling a garbage bin up to the podium, placing a bag of trash in it, and saying “welcome to our trash revolution” while Empire State of Mind played in the background
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I don’t know anything about Final Fantasy but with the amount of sequels and spin-offs involved this fantasy seems pretty god damned penultimate
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Cave Of The Mounds needs to calm the fuck down
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ACAB = A Cute Ass Bunny
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..and now it’s time for Sunday Science..
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There’s some massive party going on just outside the park where we’re camping with a DJ who is spinning the lamest shit ever. Just finished hearing “Believe” by Cher. All the partygoers screamed like they’s at a Taylor Svift shows when that track dropped
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Big Boy has fallen. The people have toppled his statue. All are rejoicing with the end of his reign of terror
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This travel oasis once sat on its nuts and had to cancel filming for a week
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Holy shit I saw a cybertruck on real life driving down Pulaski. It looks even stupider in real life
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This is the vibe I’m bringing to the Fourth of July party
This is the vibe I’m bringing to the Fourth of July party
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the conservative theory of law in one headline
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It’s great that we are boiling the oceans to run a service no one asked for that tells you how rats lay eggs
Google says its greenhouse gas emissions have surged 48% in the past five years due to the expansion of the data centers that underpin its AI efforts (Financial Times) Main Link | Techmeme Permalink
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So, this is really on his Wikipedia page
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everyone online: Okay so here's what we do, we invoke the 25th amendment and add 6 Justices to Supreme Court, and if we can convince 5 senators to run the Constitutional Protocol, the actual government: Starting in 2026 if you make under $40,000 a year the Space Force will use you for fuel
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Joe Biden needs to establish a Court Bell Grande that is superior to the Supreme Court. Live más, motherfucker
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Happy Birthday to rock ‘n’ roll legend Chubby Checker. 82 and still going strong!
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Fuckin Dork Brandon. What a goddamn turkeyneck chump-ass coward this lil bitch is
Dark Brandon was as real as Santa Claus.
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All the seal team 6/gitmo bits aside, Joe needs to just say everything the scrotus struck down of his, he will reverse it, just cancel student loans and dare them to try to stop him. Write out a bunch of crazy executive orders and declare them legal regardless of what they say. (of course he won’t)
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i can’t be trusted with 600 followers. But I can be trusted with 601 followers
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I'm calling a press conference
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I wonder if all the world’s biggest dipshits are going to finally use their favorite phrase “crossing the rubicon” correctly for the first fucking time in their miserable lives
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Executive order banning all felons from the presidency. No? Just do it. Worry about the bullshit later.
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The scotus gave you permission Joe. You can send them all to gitmo
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If Joe doesn’t officially order a drone strike on mar a logo and alito’s house he’s completely lost the plot
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Triceratops implies tricerabottoms