A vertically challenged skyscraper architect is found thrown out of a double decker bus. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Morchard’s Shaft Appreciation Society, obsessed that a busload of Daleks might threaten the decline and fall of Western civilisation.
An elderly bearded, vegetarian manhole collector is found garrotted on an ancient pagan altar. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Mallow’s Stitcher Society, disturbed that a missing codex might threaten to send the olympic diving team into a spin.
A corduroy-wearing academic is found eviscerated with a bronze-age sword. Suspicion falls on Upton Snodsbury’s global conglomerate in charge of the Internet, frightened that a bitter feud between local academics might threaten a complete meltdown of the comments section.
An eccentric pensioner is found keelhaulhed. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Morton’s Cat Sanctuary owner, obsessed that chickens eating their own eggs (as captured on CCTV) might threaten to irrevocably alter the outcome of Brexit.
A local yacht club member is found on stage with a slashed throat. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Vinae’s cosplay society, confused that badly-written antivirus software might threaten to delay the rise of the Great Old Ones.
A person who has conversations with their Twitter alts is found dead in a country pile. Suspicion falls on Aspern Tallow’s shuttlecock appreciation society, confused that someone who doesn’t yet know they’re actually the killer’s daughter might threaten the town’s largely potpourri-based economy.
A young boy is found dead clutching a stuffed Pekinese called MiMi. Suspicion falls on Woking’s owl club, upset that a supermarket stockpiler might threaten supplies of English breakfast tea.
A vestiphobic tailor is found in the river, weighted down with a tombstone from a local graveyard. Suspicion falls on Bachelors Bump’s Shaft Appreciation Society, disturbed that an increase in noise pollution might threaten the high street streetscape.
An idosyncratic pop star is found slumped over a historically significant sundial. Suspicion falls on Little Auburn’s ballet dancers, obsessed that shady goings on in condiments factories might threaten a Pisky invasion of Anglo-Saxon lands.
The village thurifer is found knocked unconcious with a knuckleduster then suffocated. Suspicion falls on Bishop’s Itchington’s Tae Kwon Do club, confused that systemic university failures might threaten reruns of Are You Being Served.
The local stranger is found pushed into a drier and spun to death. Suspicion falls on Great Worthy’s P&C association, frightened that a growing number of mysterious deaths might threaten to close the 160-year-old mustard factory.
An ancient mariner is found trampled by war elephants, retired after their trek across the Alps. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Pastures’ satanists, disturbed that a hacked driverless car might threaten to tell the vicar who his parents really are.
A local computer programmer is found drowned in a well. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Mallow’s rusted on Labour supporter, frightened that a controversial judging decision in the Midsomer Pig Show might threaten to permanently close the entrance to Álfheimr.
A sheep-dewormer consumer is found crushed by a pallet. Suspicion falls on Malham Cross’ ballet dancers, angry that unseen pigs might threaten supplies of Cornish pasties.
The Lord of Dixton and Dumbleton is found with assorted flowers growing from the stomach. Suspicion falls on Lower Twatt’s daguerreotype club, deeply concerned that remote learning might threaten the decline and fall of Western civilisation.
A local bell ringer is found squashed to death by an absolute unit. Suspicion falls on Bishopwood’s chamber of commerce, angry that a hacked driverless car might threaten to set off unexploded bombs from WWII.
A Midsomer Murders bot is found married (to @knittingaunt.bsky.social). Suspicion falls on a small dog named Winston who took the bot home on the second meeting.
A Midsomer Murders bot is found married (to @knittingaunt.bsky.social). Suspicion falls on a small dog named Winston who took the bot home on the second meeting.
The local tuba player is found crushed by an elephant. Suspicion falls on Angels Rise’s army base, obsessed that a growing number of mysterious deaths might threaten the closure of increasingly-needed food banks.
An engineer who believes he’s also an expert in virology is found shoved off of a bell tower. Suspicion falls on Bleakridge’s Tae Kwon Do club, upset that antimatter leaking into the nearby reservoir might threaten to destroy the boarding school’s secret society.
A local homeopath is found dead after taking insufficiently diluted homeopathic rabid dog saliva. Suspicion falls on Little Crosby’s romantically unlucky lumberjack, obsessed that the annual papadum eating competition might threaten the lace tatting competition.
An organist who’d pulled out all the stops is found paved into the village thoroughfare. Suspicion falls on Fletcher’s Cross’ newt collector, disturbed that the old cairn might threaten royal visits to the local Pizza Express.
The local viscount is found in the river, weighted down with a tombstone from a local graveyard. Suspicion falls on Mt Buggery’s barrister, frightened that a decline in tourism might threaten constructive political dialogue.
An insufferable clothing-clerk is found imprisoned in a vast wicker figure with goats and burned alive. Suspicion falls on Watership’s Shangri La club owners, worried that a growing number of mysterious deaths might threaten to turn England into a nation of coffee drinkers.
A reclusive Russian gentleman is found wrapped in toilet roll like an Egyptian mummy. Suspicion falls on Little Ox Eye’s army base, deeply concerned that the local date night might threaten the future of the Labour Party.
A local antiquarian book dealer is found layered into a hawthorn hedge. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Malham’s beautiful, mentally unstable girl, upset that poor quality tea might threaten a Pisky invasion of Anglo-Saxon lands.
