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who needs coffee when you can begin your day by stepping barefoot on a thistle?
These little bastards grow wild in my area and will track into the house and hide from vacuums. Stepping on them is a new adventure in pain every summer.
I lose multiple bike tires to those every year.
They look worse than feral legos.
I think I'll stick with coffee, Molly. That doesn't sound like quite as much fun as a nice cup of coffee!
Small toy part wake-up (when my kids were little).
Ouch.
"Thistle" wake you up pretty quick!
This sounds like an incredibly specific curse, “May you begin your day by stepping barefoot on a thistle!”
I find that crossing a street in Mexico City works as well as caffeine.
Making coffee at home before going out for coffee helps with that.
Coffee *and* crossing that street in Mexico City will get you opening your very own jump gate. (Ring. Warp drive. What have you.)
Idk I find that panic attacks do a pretty good job I might just stick with those
I guess a rusted nail could also do the job, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
But you should try to avoid both, to be honest.
Or one of these (which I called worse than feral legos):
bsky.app/profile/flat... These little bastards grow wild in my area and will track into the house and hide from vacuums. Stepping on them is a new adventure in pain every summer.
Step up your game to putting some LEGOs at your bedside for a real pick me up.
Distant bagpipes start playing “Flower of Scotland”.
And did someone have to remove you from the ceiling.
just keep an empty beer bottle beside your bed and smash your face into it every morning right as you wake up
Thistle < Lego << cat barf
Erm, I'd prefer to coward out and drink the coffee if that's ok.
No coffee will wake you up faster than the one you spill all over your keyboard.
Sorry that happened to you.
Stepping barefoot on half a rat the cat left on the kitchen floor is a close second.
I caught one if these last week, the pain was indescribable...some kind of toddler pegboard toy/Inquisition torture device
Oh Lordy! I’ll bet you’re awake now. That sounds horrible.
(Eeyore:) "I suppose none of you are sitting on a thistle by any chance?"
"I believe I am," said Pooh. "Ow!" He got up, and looked behind him. "Yes, I was. I thought so."
"Thank you, Pooh. If you've quite finished with it." He moved across to Pooh's place, and began to eat...
But you know not all people begin their day by stepping barefoot on a thistle. So coffee is more convenient.
I think that’s a sign to go right back to bed
That sounds worse than stepping on a lego
A thistle? Ouch!!! But also thank goodness for that I thought you were going to say “a Lego”.
