This is going to be a potentially triggering 35 part thread.
If you wish to share it, for the sake of your audience, please do not repost every section of it.
Share the start of the thread and allow your readers to decide whether to read the whole thing.
The following is written in the first person for the sake of reader understanding and the timing of the incident being before we understood our condition.
In the 10 years since we have, thankfully, gotten exponentially healthier.
CW's for mental health, police abuse, and suicide 0/
"If you didn't want this to happen, you shouldn't have called [a crisis hotline]. You did this to yourself. This is your fault, not ours,β the cop said as he looked at me in his rear-view mirror.
Let's back up. 1/
I've lived with dissociative episodes most of my life.
If you have never experienced looking around a room, unsure how you got there, trying to figure out why your head hurts and your knuckles are bleeding... 2/
If you have never experienced looking around your office, trying to figure out how it is suddenly time to go home, and worrying if you actually did any work today.
If you've never experienced driving in your car, miles from where you last remember being, wondering where you are going... 3/
If you've never experienced the shame of sitting with your wife and son, quietly trying to figure out why it is dark outside, and how the day you were looking forward to spending with him seems to have vanished...
I envy you. 4/
One such night, I was out to dinner with my wife. The conversation we were having got stressful...
... I looked around the top level of the parking structure. Who was I on the phone with? Where am I? I hear my wife's voice on the phone but there are others. 5/
I'm so sorry. The one time my ex husband called 911 when I was suicidal this is exactly the lecture I got as they hurt me and drug me away to a 72 hour hold; now I will NEVER tell anyone when I'm in a crisis again. I would rather be dead. Fuck cops.
I had someone call the cops on me for talking about my suicidal ideation on Facebook.
The cop who responded told me I had to go to the hospital and I could do it the easy way or the hard way with his hand on his gun.
The fucking police will straight up kidnap you and not care if it fucked youup more
I reminded me of an experience of my own, but it was several years ago, and I've accepted the experience. I've never shared the experience with anyone other than my wife who was part of the way things worked out. Perhaps I will someday.
