Neil Gaiman: There's a big guy with a mask and a helmet who goes "wheeze" and a gay robot and a little round robot who might also be gay. Other stuff happens and things blow up. Also Ewoks.

I forgot all the Star Wars stuff. Can you please reiterate all the important elements and characters in one post? I'd appreciate it.

There's a big guy with a mask and a helmet who goes "wheeze" and a gay robot and a little round robot who might also be gay. Other stuff happens and things blow up. Also Ewoks.

Oh, you think you’re a Star Wars fan? Name three of the stars that warred.

Dave Prowse, Carrie Fisher and Kenny Baker.

Many years ago my Mrs worked with Kenny Baker. Cast & crew all went out for a drink one night, Kenny got so drunk he fell off his barstool and couldn't get back on it. That is my only Star Wars story.

Look if my barstool was shoulder height I will fully admit I’ve been drunk enough it would have defeated me

Kenny baker was a regular cabaret performer where I grew up and similarly a few of the older drinkers who knew him had stories that “he liked a drink”

Many years ago my Mrs worked with Kenny Baker. Cast & crew all went out for a drink one night, Kenny got so drunk he fell off his barstool and couldn't get back on it. That is my only Star Wars story.

And it's a pretty good one too, though! 🤣

Without seeing context for this post, I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's a round of Star Wars Marry, F*ck, K!ll.

Picard, Abraham Lincoln, and Gandalf

Now name a mouse that warred.

Jar Jar Binks

Neil's not messing around. Called 'im Dave.

I got to meet David and Kenny. Kenny made me laugh and David was charming. Didn't even force strangle. Would love to have met Carrie. Especially after reading her biography.

I was fortunate enough to meet Carrie at a book signing, though we inadvertently bumped heads when she stood up and I leant in for a photo! 😳

One to remember :-)

HIIIYOOOOOOOO

Well, there you go.

Oh hi Neil. Good to see you.

Betelgeuse Betelgeuse Betelgeuse?

Horus Lupercal, Magnus the Red, and Angron (am I doing this right?)

Death Star, Coruscant, and Alderaan.

The guy with the mask is Steve Vader.

**Chad Vader

Chad's his cousin, who shops up in the Star Wars 2 and 3 after Steve gets killed in a space-car crash. TBF, you'd only know that from reading the orginal book adaptation and that's been out of print for a while.

If you haven't yet, I recommend tracking down Splinter of the Mind's Eye, the first and (arguably) best of the Star Wars sequels.

Oh god, no. I was referencing this: youtu.be/4wGR4-SeuJ0?...

I thought it was something like that. I was riffing on Sarah's post about the original novel, since Star Wars the novel was "written" by George Lucas (ie, ghostwritten by Alan Fean Foster, who also wrote the super-non-canon sequel Splinter of the Mind's Eye).

I actually read that when it first came out in the... I wanna say late 70s? First book I read by Alan Dean Foster.

Late 70s sounds right; Star Wars was 1978, The Empire Strikes Back was 1980. So Splinter would've been about 1978 or 1979, I'd say.

His sister is named Ella.

In the UK she's called "Lift".

Nah....Jeff Vader is his name, and he hates wet food trays!

jeff only appears in the presequels.

🤣

So how DO you get the peas in the penne?

Poke them in with a little stick.

Is he related to Jeff Vader, manager of the Death Star canteen? #PenneArrabiata #EddieIzzard

That sounds like Malcolm Tucker’s explanation. youtu.be/Cg-pnGFbwMQ?...

Star Wars Described by a Non Fanyoutu.be The Thick of It's Malcolm Tucker (Peter Capaldi) trying to describe Star Wars in series 4 episode 2.

Ah, yes, the Ewoks. Lovely furballs who make sweet music out of their decapitated enemies.

Furballs of Doom ☠️☠️☠️

Pretty sure R2 is bi... He sticks that metal dong of his into every socket he can find!

Then he's pan!

He is now. They melted him down and sold him to Tefal.

All you need to know about the prequels is that the guy with the mask and helmet built the gay robot, before he had the mask and helmet. All you need to know about the sequels is that the gay robots had a very round baby. Also, things keep blowing up, and we never see warriors fiercer than the Ewoks

15/10 no notes.

Ewoks who eat human flesh. And have a dress that they keep immaculate from one of their meals, that happens to be in Leia's size.

So the Ewoks are Vietnamese and the Empire are Americans and then I think the Emperor is George Bush/Hitler. That's pretty much it I think.

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