Noel Murray: Top Five Reasons COLUMBO victims must die: 5. Not good enough to marry my child. 4. Standing in the way of my big break. 3. Blocking my inheritance. 2. Knows about my scandalous past/affair. 1. Threatening to destroy all the good work we've been doing here at the Institute.

Top Five Reasons COLUMBO victims must die: 5. Not good enough to marry my child. 4. Standing in the way of my big break. 3. Blocking my inheritance. 2. Knows about my scandalous past/affair. 1. Threatening to destroy all the good work we've been doing here at the Institute.

look you gotta secure the future of the Institute

The work they do there is vital.

Wait, they're threatening the Institute!? But they do such good work!

And what I love about Columbo is that the same actor has murdered 3 different victims for at least 3 of those reasons.

“The victim wasn’t smarter/more talented than me and I killed ‘em to prove it” ranks up there

#6 Patrick Mcgoohan is a jerk

There's reasons they locked him up in a neo-Italianate seaside welsh village, you know

My favorite of those is the one set at the military academy, which I believe McGoohan also directed.

Looked it up. It's "By Dawn's Early Light," which was McGoohan's first episode (and one he didn't direct, although he did five others subsequently to make up for it).

Love that one. McGoohan does smug disdain so well. I just saw the McGoohan-as-spy ep for the first time! He says “be seeing you” and in one scene wears a navy jacket w/ white piping. It’s a silly episode but real fun.

Awed by the realness of #1.

Number one makes me think we should've had a Columbo-Cronenberg crossover. Columbo vs The Brood, Columbo goes Rabid, whatever. Those institutes needed investigating.

Just watched a season 3 gem which is a mix of 2 of those (no spoilers) and features a dead ringer for Will Forte. Robert Walker Jr. in Mind over Mayhem (s 3, ep 6)

One of the best Institute episodes!

Is that the one where they only wear blazers at the institute, not suits?

Not sure. Some lab coats and military. Of note, this is a major Columbo's dog episode and a celebrity robot. It has everything.

seriously....

Charlie X!

Are you sure that’s not the kid from The Holdovers

Big fan of the version of 2 that is "accidentally uncovered my origin-story scheme"

"He's gonna destroy the institute by marrying my daughter! It's my big chance at the institute, no matter what he knows about me and Reykjavik! And I earned my inheritance!"

I know it only happened once, but I think "you killed my beloved niece and made it look like a boating accident, didn't you realise I knew?" is a top-tier rationale for a murder.

18. My lousy brother was going to shut down our lousy museum.

I saw the end of that one this afternoon

That Museum is why museums should be licensed.

Number one is definitely “I really need the formula for that moisturizer.”

And all of the murderers were played by Robert Culp. I remember the MAD Magazine parody of COLUMBO used a caricature of Robert Culp, which I only realized later when I saw THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO

'euuuuugh nooo don't stab me in this editing room and then doctor the film of a camera that was running at the same time to make it look like you were there at the time of murder' well you NOW it's a little late for that isn't it?

These are all excellent reasons to kill someone and Columbo is a bad man for exposing them.

Dean Stockwell died for 4 &1 and was framed for 2.

An ex’s dad played a victim in one, and was definitely a 2.

@mrxdentith.com

Wow, a viral skeet!

My second in the past couple of weeks! It's a much less stressful experience when it happens over here, I have to say.

6. Trying to uphold the Suari kingdom’s traditional values #legation

A very young Jeff Goldblum is in that one as a protestor.

Yes, I learned that from Columbophile just last night!

@craigcalcaterra.bsky.social Your thoughts?

i think Number 1 is just the plot of Fallout 4

Genius!

I think they're in the wrong order, but I haven't seen it for a long, long time

There's also: 6) Betrayed me personally (romantically or confidence)

6. Don’t care enough about wine to take proper care of the winery

This is a great opportunity to share the lyrics to the Columbo theme: bsky.app/profile/gemk...

COLUMBO doesn’t have a theme song so I sing my own lyrics to the LOVE BOAT theme. Death Exciting and new But watch out He’s pursuing you Coluuuumbo Soon will be acting as if he’s dumb Coluuuumbo Stuck to you just like a wad of gum You think you got away with it But oh wait just one more thing

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