Paul F. Tompkins: I have mostly been in situations where it starts way too low and becomes the most awful dirge you can imagine

The ultimate tragedy of Born In The USA is not only was it co-opted by dummies who embraced it because they didn’t catch any words past the title but that it has no barrier for entry for singers. No peaks, no valleys. It starts in the middle & stays there. Happy Birthday is more challenging.

The fun thing about happy birthday is it has that high note in the middle where everyone suddenly realizes that they should have started the song lower but it’s too late now

I have mostly been in situations where it starts way too low and becomes the most awful dirge you can imagine

Too many people start that song very dirge-like. It's not peppy and cheery at all, and it takes for fucking ever. It seems to have gotten worse, maybe people aren't so happy anymore.

Sometimes they sing it so slow and low I think it's Volga Boatmen.

I'm always in a group where everyone is in a different key. Where am I supposed to be singing, people? WHERE!?! At this point, I don't even sing anymore. I am "Two Thumbs Up" guy now.

Gotta use that silly little whistle thing before starting to sing. That'll do it (though I don't know how or why)

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