Taylor

@sentientcake.bsky.social

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George Soros pays my rent. Sports talk. Comedy podcast junkie. My mom doesn’t think I’m funny. He/him

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First they Frenched my fries now they’ve Frenched my Cheerios? What’s next? Hopefully me…😏 P.S they’re very good

The most disturbing thing about the original 1932 “the mummy” is that the cheapest option to watch it is to rent it for 4 dollars.

If drakes next album isn’t his best album he is cooked. The chance of that happening is so incredibly low. Life is good.

We need to keep studying goblin mode. I think we can get people that suffer from it back to gnome mode, like the good lord intended.

Was almost asleep then I remembered that 1895 French silent short film where the train comes right at you. Now I’ll be up all night. Great.

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Taylor

Defending her 81-year-old husband in the wake of his highly criticized debate performance, first lady Jill Biden reportedly assured an audience of Democratic donors Monday that she “hit[s] that on the daily,” referring to President Joe Biden.

Jill Biden: ‘I Hit That On The Daily’www.theonion.com EAST HAMPTON, NY—Defending her 81-year-old husband in the wake of his highly criticized debate performance, first lady Jill Biden reportedly assured an audience of Democratic donors Monday that she “h...

I’ve been going to McDonalds four times a week for over a year now to pick up/drop off clients for work and I haven’t gotten food once. I think I deserve a medal or something. Probably the Medal of Honor. 🤷‍♂️

Does accidentally reading the word “tidy” as “tiddy” qualify me as chronically online?

Watching T2 and I don’t understand why both terminators don’t hang dong in the beginning. James Cameron is a coward.

This hurricane has an unacceptably dumb name.

Big picture 248 years isn’t even that good of a run. We did fine I guess.

Stop calling it your belt start calling it your suspender.

Scooooo Oilers. I’d pick Canada over Florida 100 times out of 100.

I got pretty into Alice In Chains a couple months ago. Please don’t tell anyone.

Finally heard the first 4 mambos. Pretty meh to be honest. It’s no wonder 5 is the one that stuck.

It’s total bullshit that all dogs go to heaven. Ever met a wiener dog? Those little demons go straight to doggy hell. If it helps, doggy hell is still pretty rad. Way better than human hell.

Thrilled to see people who don’t like/care about/listen to hip hop declare without a doubt that Drake is a pedophile. There has never been a better time to hate him than right now. That beef is my Roman Empire, I think of it daily.

“Catch a throatful from the fire vocal Ash and molten glass like Eyjafjallajökull” DOOM, you crazy for that one. I definitely didn’t have to look it up to know that’s a volcano in Iceland.

Do we know for certain that Bambis mother didn’t have it coming?

Did you know that all car manufacturers in the United States are required to make the horn honk in F sharp? I doubt it, because I just made it up.

People make fun of him for it but I believe Mark Wahlberg could have stopped 9/11. Think they could have still hit the towers after he pulled his signature move? Ya buddy, two blind pilots would toooooootally hit their target 🙄

I wonder where I rank all time on the “worry wart” leaderboards. In my gut top 100 feels reasonable, but what about all those people that get ranked behind me if I don’t actually belong? Maybe we can use unsolvable stomach mystery pain as a tiebreaker.

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I've been out here blastin' bajas since before you were born, kid

If I was in charge of the “king of the hill” reboot the first thing I would do is set it 300 years in the future.

Seriously considering starting a Big Bopper cover band as the Little Bopper.

Inside me there are two wolves. They get along a little too well and they are always making me feel like the third wheel.

Just had a horribly sad thought. I don’t remember the last time I went to Taco Bell. 2 years minimum. Nobody should have to live like this.

Pictures I took last year, because none of you can stop me

500 miles is an insane distance to walk. Let alone 500 more. I mean cmon rent a car. Take a bus!

Finally watching Oppenheimer and you guys weren’t lying, this guy fucks.