John Williams

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I like telly.

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Watching Training Day. A very entertaining film resulting somehow in a Best Actor Oscar and a supporting actor nomination. So many better performances in the same genre on TV for years before this and years afterwards. Cartoonish.

I knew Yvette Cooper at university and once got mildly tipsy with her in a pub one afternoon. She was delightful. More scintillating government-related anecdotes to come as I have them.

Let’s get to the important stuff - do you call the best film ever made Fraternally Yours or Sons of the Desert? And where do you stand on Doppelgänger aka Journey to the Far Side of the Sun?

Why wouldn't you like Doctor Who when it gives you this?

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John Williams

Forty years ago today. I have since learned from friends in the profession that "silent reading" essentially means your teacher is very, very, very, very, very hungover. #fingersonlips

I've tried to assuage my hangover with a caesar salad. It was going well until I washed it down with a bottle of Vinho Verde.

Now I need to eat like Henry VIII until the match starts. Bring me chicken legs and small ale!

That's fucking funny.

I'm an old tedious socialist but fuck me I hate the SNP.

Oh no. Not Jacob Rees-Mogg. He always seemed such a sweetheart.

I'm tired but I promised myself tonight I'd get my blowpipe out and fire poisoned darts at any MPs that have failed Gaza but praised Ukraine.

It's hard to fuck up admitting you're a hopeless failure but at least he did that strangulated voice which still made me angry.

I was thinking of having a nap at 5 but I might watch Give Us a Clue instead.

Clive genuinely asleep.

Just took my aged cat out in the yard to get her some fresh air but came back to the sex pest on the TV.

They always come out with this bullshit the second they no longer have any influence.

Watch out for her sword!

Skegness was our occasional family seaside weekend back in the 70s. It was bracing and not very appealing. It’s found its perfect representation in Tice.

Suella Braverman is surely the weirdest Buddhist of all time.

Oh no. Not Jonathan Gullis. He always seemed such a sweetheart.

“Seen as a very good constituency MP so that might have helped with his re-election.” MIGHT???

Farage said recently that he didn’t want to spend every Friday in Clacton. He won’t. He’s like Johnson and won’t put the hours in.

Mandelson being so disingenuous about Islington. Jeremy Corbyn has always been a brilliant MP for that constituency and they all knew he was no longer a Labour MP because they watch the fucking news.

Jeremy Vine exiled on his own in Cardiff with his video games is giving me strength.

The exit poll said IDS had less than a 1% chance of keeping his seat which is quite chastening. But don’t get me wrong I’m happy for the cunt.

Disappointing for Labour.

Oh no. Not Grant Shapps. He always seemed like such a sweetheart.

Now Erewash has gone Labour I think everywhere I’ve ever lived is currently of the true faith.

Reform UK may well become a force once Farage becomes an MP but I can’t help thinking it’s a bit similar to the predictions in 2019 that Johnson would be PM into the 2030s. It’s in their nature. It won’t happen.

Monster Raving Loony party shout out the biggest laugh tonight.