OneInTheDank

The door was open, I was hoping he would leave. Sometimes the biggest barrier to freedom is the fear of the unknown. I can’t help you Marty, this fight is your own.

Marty being dragged against his will back into the grocery store. The eternal shift of a lonely automated grocery store spill hazard robot.

I really wanted to be a better man, but i’m not paying for Apple News+ for it. I’ll just go do more pushups.

You’re going to be a vampire. Who’s turning you? 🦇

You’re going to be a vampire. Who’s turning you?

To the people in my DMs saying I’m a sandwich fucker, is this the face of a sandwich fucker? Does this look like a guy who could enter a room with a chocolate mayonnaise sandwich and leave with it being unfucked? No, right?

Pound sign clouds

Hashtags clouds

Reply to

bridget epitropakis

So not them then

Your honor, a note for the plaintiff. Your daughters tied up in a Brooklyn basement. Face it, not guilty. That’s how I stay filthy.

What’s your sign?

what's your sign?

Just so you know when you’re mean to me, this is how I’m preparing to respond.

This looks like a setup for a kickass carnival show

Reply to

pork, cheese, broccoli rabe