Astr0z0mbreez

Astr0z0mbreez

@astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social

1252

Posts

Live & Let Blurb.

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Noticing everyone in group isn’t nearly as bad or crazy as they think. They know they’re fucked up but are workin to better themselves. They’re nothin like the assholes at the bank that think they have it all together.

If I grew up in Greece BC I woulda been like, “There’s enough shitty things to never run out. But it’s a helluva lot easier to run outta the good when we don’t give them nearly as much time as the bad” & then I’d pass around cured Kalamatas & Moussaka.

My stepdad knows a guy who worked w the Long Island serial killer. Said he always hadda feeling about him. The neighbors too. & that’s how I’ve felt ever since I saw mine rip out their yarrow & toss it away like some useless weed.

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Tending to the porch pumpkin patch

I’d def be a cat lady if I could find a Cheshire Cat breeder. I’d have a lot of those.

Committing myself to a life of research. Like why do humans suddenly notice their boogers when driving ?

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Any time I have an intrusive thought, I shake my head violently from side to side like a mentally ill etch-a-sketch.

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Elevator re-experience immediately after riding in one is reverse vertical deja vu because time is a learning to drive stick

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I'm cutting back. Only drinking from the kneecaps of my enemies.

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these day terrors aren’t so great either

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My life is in terrific shape, things could not be going better in Benville, thank you for asking.

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for 16 bucks I’ll come over and cure your aunt’s potato salad addiction

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got kicked out of the Renaissance fair for febreezing anyone smelling like patchouli

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cash me ousside how bout cat

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I used to believe in Freudian psychoanalysis but then I realized that I’m Jung at heart.

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Is there catharsis in space. Tonight we travel to the solar system of L 98-59, a world poised to intercept our classic "must see tv" line up of two hours of jokes followed by a fuck it all drama.

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get in loser we’re going to the grocery store to swap out all of the chicken eggs with snake eggs

Sorry I took out your mailbox, but I was distracted by your overwhelmingly beautiful Crape Myrtles. They are one of my favorite trees, so I get dizzy during their bloom season.

Don’t sleep on me. I got at least 800 million unfinished projects in the works.

Yes hello hi Genie, I would like a fuzzy white bikini like Jayne Mansfield, some baby oil & a lifetime supply of sunflower seeds.

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Despite their intimidating appearance, Canadian dogs are actually quite affectionate.

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This day in history. 1978. In Manchester the first test tube baby was born. She weighed 5 pounds 12 ounces and was named Louise Joy Petri Dish Brown.

Sorry I’m late br0, but what r politics? Just kiddin—don’t tell me

Yesterday I heard lil kids playing Marco Polo in the distance & I instantly forgot the World is falling apart. Anything is possible.

I’ll go barefooted w my ankle bracelets stacked—this way no one can say I didn’t come w a warning.

It’s true. We are all related.

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*popping up from a manhole* why’d you delete that reply to me before I could respond?

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How do people from Nevada pronounce the word twat?

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Mattel just launched a blind Barbie. Aren't they all blind? I may need to reevaluate my childhood

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Opening a boutique for hand-crafted catalytic converters